How do you know for sure that the red flags you see in someone else are for real or out of projection of your own insecurities?

after you get burned a few hundred times you can finally tell when something is hot by experience without having to get burned again to just know "Don"t Touch " this is hot .
I do not need a "wet floor "sign to know I can slip and fall on a wet floor ,
or a hand on a sign saying "don't walk " to know if I walk out in traffic I can be hit and killed ,,a tag on a fire arm "This is not a toy ,this can kill .
Life is the same way ,,after enough years of helping people ,you can pretty much tell who needs the help from users ,
If they drove up in a car ,wearing jewelry ,wearing brand name clothes ,,being rude making you wait to speak to them because the person on their cell phone is more important ,,,,what sign do I need that says they really don't need help ?

If you see red flags, it really doesn't matter if they are real or not. [b]YOUR GUT [/b]doesn't trust this person. Always trust your gut.

Experience and trusting your judgement

Go with your gut.

red flags in a person are based on what your parents have taught you what to look for in a person and your personal experience, I don't believe your insecurities would affect your views on someone

I keep track of them and make note of reinforcing or weakening points. If there's a pattern I'm unlikely to consider it a figment of my imagination. Of course no one's infallible. 🤷

You look for evidence for your red flags. Sometimes you have to read between the lines. Give them same situation at two different times and see if their response, if there is discrepancy, its means something is wrong.

That's why one needs to find that neutral zone...free from external and internal influences. What one looks at from there is generally true.

You only give the benefit of the doubt so many times. Enough kicks in the face for benefit of the doubt fixes it.

You never try you never know

You don't until you find out for sure. First impressions aren't always right.

I don’t see red flags, it’s red bricks 😄

Very thin line