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How do you know for sure that the red flags you see in someone else are for real or out of projection of your own insecurities?

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rckt148 · 61-69, M
after you get burned a few hundred times you can finally tell when something is hot by experience without having to get burned again to just know "Don"t Touch " this is hot .
I do not need a "wet floor "sign to know I can slip and fall on a wet floor ,
or a hand on a sign saying "don't walk " to know if I walk out in traffic I can be hit and killed ,,a tag on a fire arm "This is not a toy ,this can kill .
Life is the same way ,,after enough years of helping people ,you can pretty much tell who needs the help from users ,
If they drove up in a car ,wearing jewelry ,wearing brand name clothes ,,being rude making you wait to speak to them because the person on their cell phone is more important ,,,,what sign do I need that says they really don't need help ?