Is this a red flag?

@Amyrakunejo You over thought it. It just means you think they're a fixer upper. You know, that you can make them more caring, less slobbish, wear better clothes, etc. Not that they're damaged emotionally, mentally or physically

@Qwerty14 You ask a philosophically-minded person about this sort of thing, you're gonna get this sort of response. Just keep that in mind.

That being said, the explanation you gave actually paints a different picture than the one I had seen, one I intend to not examine.

@Qwerty14 I don't think I said it ruins the relationship.

How would you feel if your partner went to a male friend and described you as work in progress?

@Miram I'd be pissed if anyone called me that for any reason. "Work in progress" is a phrase used for projects or chores, not Humans.

@Qwerty14 Yes, it can bit objectifying and that's why I think it's disrespectful.

I believe protecting others from yourself and your own flaws should come before expecting them to change for whatever reason, or hand in hand . So to me it's reasonable he'd be upset.

@SW-User Should women "work" on their partners?

@Qwerty14 no one should.
If you can't accept a person as they are.. You are with the wrong person.

@bijouxbroussard That's what I'm getting at. There's a dangerous mentality that partners are "fixer uppers" and it usually ends up with them being miserable when they don't change

@LomeMarsupial Haha yeah I guess I didn't think of it from the guys perspective

@PrivateHell Edited the option so He or She should run lol

@Qwerty14 still think he should. Unless he thinks he needs to change her.

@uncalled4 Initially, in a culture where men select women, they seek them out it is normal that the majority would already settle on those that satisfy them. Women are passive, in that same culture, have to accept limited choices. They don't seek out those that already match their needs.

Not to say wanting someone to change is always bad. The person will change as your life together progresses and new things will arise, bad and good. If you love the person, you aren't going satisfied with them being unhappy or in pain. You will have that want as a man or as a woman.

@Miram @Qwerty14 @uncalled4 There's an old saying:

[quote]Women marry men hoping they will change; men marry women hoping they won't change.[/quote]

Seems to fit some of what you discussed above.

@ninjavu That's very much a part of what I was thinking. 👍️