Is this a red flag?

Poll - Total Votes: 6

Yes. He/She should get outta there.

No. Some men just need fixing.

I dunno. Quit asking me.

You can only vote on one answer.

My friend describes her boyfriend as a "work in progress". I don't think that phrase has ever been described by people who end up having a successful relationship. What do you think?

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Miram · 31-35, F

what if she believed we are all work in progress including herself?

Qwerty14

@Miram I think she means she wants to change him to better fit her standards

Miram · 31-35, F

@Qwerty14 You can motivate someone into being a better person, support them and be there for them. You can manipulate them, lie, take away what they desire to change them..Two different ways, one is bad, the other is good.

Love doesn't equal accepting character defects or not wanting them to grow and be better. But you have to go about it the right way.

But to me it seems to be the wrong way already. There is little point in telling an outsider that their bf is work in progress. It is disrespectful.

Qwerty14

@Miram So you think just by telling me how she feels it ruins the relationship. Interesting angle haha

Miram · 31-35, F

@Qwerty14 I don't think I said it ruins the relationship.

How would you feel if your partner went to a male friend and described you as work in progress?

Qwerty14

@Miram I'd be pissed if anyone called me that for any reason. "Work in progress" is a phrase used for projects or chores, not Humans.

Miram · 31-35, F

@Qwerty14 Yes, it can bit objectifying and that's why I think it's disrespectful.

I believe protecting others from yourself and your own flaws should come before expecting them to change for whatever reason, or hand in hand . So to me it's reasonable he'd be upset.