Is this a red flag?

Poll - Total Votes: 6

Yes. He/She should get outta there.

No. Some men just need fixing.

I dunno. Quit asking me.

You can only vote on one answer.

My friend describes her boyfriend as a "work in progress". I don't think that phrase has ever been described by people who end up having a successful relationship. What do you think?

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uncalled4 · 56-60, M

Who isn't a work in progress? That's too vague a term. My experience is that people do like to change each other a bit.

Qwerty14

@uncalled4 Yeah but self progress is different from your partner trying to change you

Miram · 31-35, F

@uncalled4 Society is basically that. Pressure by different individuals into molding each other according to the majority accepted values.

uncalled4 · 56-60, M

@Qwerty14 Women try to change their men. Not all women, but just something I have noticed particularly about them.

Qwerty14

@uncalled4 Yeah I didn't wanna make it about sex, but it does seem like men care a lot less about changing women than vice versa

Miram · 31-35, F

@uncalled4 Initially, in a culture where men select women, they seek them out it is normal that the majority would already settle on those that satisfy them. Women are passive, in that same culture, have to accept limited choices. They don't seek out those that already match their needs.

Not to say wanting someone to change is always bad. The person will change as your life together progresses and new things will arise, bad and good. If you love the person, you aren't going satisfied with them being unhappy or in pain. You will have that want as a man or as a woman.

ninjavu · 51-55, M

@Miram @Qwerty14 @uncalled4 There's an old saying:

[quote]Women marry men hoping they will change; men marry women hoping they won't change.[/quote]

Seems to fit some of what you discussed above.

Miram · 31-35, F

@ninjavu That's very much a part of what I was thinking. 👍️