I Am a Caregiver
Go figure. His emergency room visit was for nothing. They ran every test they could think to run. Stupid old raisin. 🙄
22-25, F
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JupiterDreams · 31-35
GlitterBug · 22-25, F
I know that but he does this often for attention. We have cared for him for 2 years, we can tell when hes faking and when he has an actual issue. Hes a hypochondriac,
loves the attention that comes with any issue. Hes a bad person. Always has been. Cant deny him a doctor because I think hes faking though. That would be abuse. His age has little to do with his awful personality and habits. @JupiterDreams
loves the attention that comes with any issue. Hes a bad person. Always has been. Cant deny him a doctor because I think hes faking though. That would be abuse. His age has little to do with his awful personality and habits. @JupiterDreams
JupiterDreams · 31-35
@GlitterBug Oooh okie haha, that makes sense 😅 Sorry if I sounded rude.
GlitterBug · 22-25, F
No problem, I know everyone on this thread means well. @JupiterDreams
CountScrofula · 41-45, M
GlitterBug · 22-25, F
Yeah. That side of things is just as frustrating. My great grandmother was like that up until she took her last breath. Good woman, stubborn at times. @CountScrofula
rckt148 · 61-69, M
@CountScrofula I watched my Mom full time
I had my girlfriend and her sister go in and make sure she was decent ,the sister was a huge help cooking for her and waiting on her while I took care of the home and they yards
But moving her ,getting her to dialysis every other day and to her Peritonitis where they drain fluids off her abdomen so she did not die of congestive heart failure ,
I was the only one strong enough to lift her and not hurt her
I got one day a week that I went to spend time with other family members ,(none willing to help ,but a place to take a break ),and sure as hell I was getting a "Help Me" call
She tried to do something and I find her half way under the bed
So with a bad back I lift the bed enough to lift her
(she was not a tiny women ) get her to a chair ,remake her bed and get her back in it ,,getting her on and off her portable toilet ,getting her cleaned up
You have not properly lived until you take care of your parents caring for them like children ,,,and still show them the respect they are due.
Never treating them like a child and robbing them of their dignity ,
I hear people all the time saying how hard it is when they can still walk ,shower themselves ,get in and out of a car
They don't have a clue ,,until they are no longer ambulatory
That changes everything ,,then you really are taking care of your parents ,,,thats when most end up in a nursing home
Taking them to the hospital and doctors is part of it
even when they fight you about going .
I had my girlfriend and her sister go in and make sure she was decent ,the sister was a huge help cooking for her and waiting on her while I took care of the home and they yards
But moving her ,getting her to dialysis every other day and to her Peritonitis where they drain fluids off her abdomen so she did not die of congestive heart failure ,
I was the only one strong enough to lift her and not hurt her
I got one day a week that I went to spend time with other family members ,(none willing to help ,but a place to take a break ),and sure as hell I was getting a "Help Me" call
She tried to do something and I find her half way under the bed
So with a bad back I lift the bed enough to lift her
(she was not a tiny women ) get her to a chair ,remake her bed and get her back in it ,,getting her on and off her portable toilet ,getting her cleaned up
You have not properly lived until you take care of your parents caring for them like children ,,,and still show them the respect they are due.
Never treating them like a child and robbing them of their dignity ,
I hear people all the time saying how hard it is when they can still walk ,shower themselves ,get in and out of a car
They don't have a clue ,,until they are no longer ambulatory
That changes everything ,,then you really are taking care of your parents ,,,thats when most end up in a nursing home
Taking them to the hospital and doctors is part of it
even when they fight you about going .
rckt148 · 61-69, M
You brought the negative comments when you said "Old Raisin"
Anyone who is in health care ,has elderly loved ones they are fighting to hold onto would be offended by that
and thats all the details they need
regardless of how much of a pain he is
Your day will come ,,,I pray someone speaks better of you
Anyone who is in health care ,has elderly loved ones they are fighting to hold onto would be offended by that
and thats all the details they need
regardless of how much of a pain he is
Your day will come ,,,I pray someone speaks better of you
View 1 more replies »
rckt148 · 61-69, M
@GlitterBug I was beat like a dog daily by a woman who called herself my sister ,,she cheated on my Dad ,allows us to be abused ,my brother almost die
But she was my Mom ,and a pain in the ass ,,,but she was my Mom
I took care of my grandpa 2 yrs ,my Dad for 3 ,,Mom for 14 months until she showed us all ,stopped taking her liver meds and in 5 days she was dead just like she said she would be
I do not care what history you have ,,,forgive it
When all you have left is your dignity ,,,
We reap what we sow ,,,I will never see a nursing home
As I was there for my elders as my Dad was for his
My Kids will be there for me
The love me so much because they know the story ,,yet I was there ,,kept my family in their own homes ,,even though I am disabled myself
I set a better example then the one set for me
Now my girls are nurses ,,,they are excellent care givers
I would take a switch to any of them I ever heard them disrespect the elderly ,,,now I am old ,,and in bad health
My kids are there for me ,,,I pray you are as blessed
But if you don't like the job ,,you are doing no one any favors ,,,when all you have us time
You get to know who wants to be around you ,and who is there for what they might get
I am not judging you personally ,,I was not rude to you
I have not assumed anything ,,and I do not know your story
But you did show disrespect of the elderly ,,thats all I need to know
there are people that will help if the job is a burden
If Grandma loved him ,,,then thats all that should matter
even if he was an ass too ,,,2 wrongs don't make a right
But she was my Mom ,and a pain in the ass ,,,but she was my Mom
I took care of my grandpa 2 yrs ,my Dad for 3 ,,Mom for 14 months until she showed us all ,stopped taking her liver meds and in 5 days she was dead just like she said she would be
I do not care what history you have ,,,forgive it
When all you have left is your dignity ,,,
We reap what we sow ,,,I will never see a nursing home
As I was there for my elders as my Dad was for his
My Kids will be there for me
The love me so much because they know the story ,,yet I was there ,,kept my family in their own homes ,,even though I am disabled myself
I set a better example then the one set for me
Now my girls are nurses ,,,they are excellent care givers
I would take a switch to any of them I ever heard them disrespect the elderly ,,,now I am old ,,and in bad health
My kids are there for me ,,,I pray you are as blessed
But if you don't like the job ,,you are doing no one any favors ,,,when all you have us time
You get to know who wants to be around you ,and who is there for what they might get
I am not judging you personally ,,I was not rude to you
I have not assumed anything ,,and I do not know your story
But you did show disrespect of the elderly ,,thats all I need to know
there are people that will help if the job is a burden
If Grandma loved him ,,,then thats all that should matter
even if he was an ass too ,,,2 wrongs don't make a right
GlitterBug · 22-25, F
I haven't done any wrongs to him. As I said, I still care for him because he is loved. Just not by me. I don't have to love him to show him kindness. I know everyone in this thread means well, I'm not offended by your thoughts. If anything, I appreciate that you'll share them.
My life is stressful. This is my outlet. I dont always go about venting in the best ways, I'm not always respectful when it comes to my family. Maybe that's one of my flaws. But I will always help them when they need it. Even with their flaws, they don't deserve to be abandoned when they are old and sick or when they need help. That's not who I am and that's not who my family has raised me to be.
I do not respect him because he is old. I respect him because he is a human being. I lack a certain respect for him because of his actions in life. Growing old does not give you a free pass. Basic respect is given, anything else is earned. He did not earn it. He still has made no effort to earn it. Realize that, too.
@rckt148
My life is stressful. This is my outlet. I dont always go about venting in the best ways, I'm not always respectful when it comes to my family. Maybe that's one of my flaws. But I will always help them when they need it. Even with their flaws, they don't deserve to be abandoned when they are old and sick or when they need help. That's not who I am and that's not who my family has raised me to be.
I do not respect him because he is old. I respect him because he is a human being. I lack a certain respect for him because of his actions in life. Growing old does not give you a free pass. Basic respect is given, anything else is earned. He did not earn it. He still has made no effort to earn it. Realize that, too.
@rckt148
rckt148 · 61-69, M
@GlitterBug I can respect you set your feelings aside ,,I respect that a lot 🤗
I also hear someone has raised you right ,and that shows 🤗
The respect for elders is a commandment of God ,his only judge ,,if he has committed wrongs and not repented ,he will not escape his seeds he sown ,
I respect you see him as a human you do not have to like to show compassion to ,,,as you show mercy ,mercy will be shown to you ...
I respect everything you said .and you have my sympathy ,I know its hard being there for someone that was never there for anyone else ,,,My Mom was hell on her Mom who passed away at 49 from a disease that crippled her so young ,,I watched her slowly die ,,she was my world ,my protector ,,the reason I am the man I am today ,,she planted seed in my life as I have sown into my kids ,,and apparently someone sown into yours ,,
You have my deepest respect ,and please pardon my other comments ,,,as someone who has lost so many I love
and now my own mortality is at hand ,,
I get how young people have adopted "You have to earn my respect and age does not grant you that ,,actually it does
but you will get it one day ,,I spent years showing my elders what know nothings they were too ,,,I repented ,I was wrong
May Christ grant you the peace you need ,and a blessing when its your turn
I get venting too ,,Mom said she wanted it on her head stone
"I told you I was sick" ,,and I replied "If I can add but it only took me 50 yrs to die ",,we heard it everyday
I am dying or I am going to commit suicide ,,I guess she did both ,,but I miss her ,,I wish I had spoiled her more now that she is gone ,,,I really thought she would drag it out until I was gone just to spite me ,
She made it hard on my family and I ,as she always had
But she was Mom ,,now that both of my parents are gone
It sucks ,,I miss both of them
I was a good care giver ,,just wish I'd been a better son
I was to busy blaming her for a shitty life to realize
I was on my won since 13 ,,the only one keeping it shitty was me ..she was just my excuse ,,,So I get it ,I still vent sometimes too ,,Wishing you nothing but the best
I know its hard enough being a care giver ,especially with so much resentment ,,,someone must have raised you right
My deep respect for them too ,,Family is everything
I also hear someone has raised you right ,and that shows 🤗
The respect for elders is a commandment of God ,his only judge ,,if he has committed wrongs and not repented ,he will not escape his seeds he sown ,
I respect you see him as a human you do not have to like to show compassion to ,,,as you show mercy ,mercy will be shown to you ...
I respect everything you said .and you have my sympathy ,I know its hard being there for someone that was never there for anyone else ,,,My Mom was hell on her Mom who passed away at 49 from a disease that crippled her so young ,,I watched her slowly die ,,she was my world ,my protector ,,the reason I am the man I am today ,,she planted seed in my life as I have sown into my kids ,,and apparently someone sown into yours ,,
You have my deepest respect ,and please pardon my other comments ,,,as someone who has lost so many I love
and now my own mortality is at hand ,,
I get how young people have adopted "You have to earn my respect and age does not grant you that ,,actually it does
but you will get it one day ,,I spent years showing my elders what know nothings they were too ,,,I repented ,I was wrong
May Christ grant you the peace you need ,and a blessing when its your turn
I get venting too ,,Mom said she wanted it on her head stone
"I told you I was sick" ,,and I replied "If I can add but it only took me 50 yrs to die ",,we heard it everyday
I am dying or I am going to commit suicide ,,I guess she did both ,,but I miss her ,,I wish I had spoiled her more now that she is gone ,,,I really thought she would drag it out until I was gone just to spite me ,
She made it hard on my family and I ,as she always had
But she was Mom ,,now that both of my parents are gone
It sucks ,,I miss both of them
I was a good care giver ,,just wish I'd been a better son
I was to busy blaming her for a shitty life to realize
I was on my won since 13 ,,the only one keeping it shitty was me ..she was just my excuse ,,,So I get it ,I still vent sometimes too ,,Wishing you nothing but the best
I know its hard enough being a care giver ,especially with so much resentment ,,,someone must have raised you right
My deep respect for them too ,,Family is everything
Pinkstarburst · 51-55, F
GlitterBug · 22-25, F
Again, learn the details first please. @Pinkstarburst
Pinkstarburst · 51-55, F
@GlitterBug Then don't be so vague please
GlitterBug · 22-25, F
Lol. Not the case. Two people here constantly waiting on him hand and foot though hes capable of most things still. He loves it all. @CereBellum
@GlitterBug I am guessing he is old enough to have some dementia going on. It’s really a shame. Try talking to him in a sincere caring way and see how he responds?
GlitterBug · 22-25, F
He doesn't have dementia or alzheimer's or I'd be excusing the behavior. I do talk to him calmly even when I think he's faking. Escalation can never help anything. I just wish he was more cooperative. He likes me though, I'm the only one he seems to like. I hope you understand I'm not coming from a place of hate, just frustration. It's to be expected when I dont get to leave the house to take care of him. Only for him to do these things and not care.
@CereBellum
@CereBellum
SW-User
@GlitterBug Well I hope your time's almost up for the day and you can get out of there and clear your head a bit. A stressful duty you have taken on for sure.
GlitterBug · 22-25, F
SW-User
@GlitterBug I know that has to suck but you did what you had to do..as frustrating as the result is.
gmatthewb · 51-55, M
@GlitterBug Kind of the opposite for us, with my wife having worked in the medical field she avoids going to the hospital or even letting her doctors know she is having any issues. A lot of times I have to notice things or she won't tell me. I do fully understand your frustrations though.
