I Believe That Love Comes Unexpectadly

I thought I'd chime in on this one and give you my opinion. For starters, relationships are difinitely a challenge, mainly because we establish the connection ba<x>sed on superficial lust....it's a natural attraction, some call it chemistry. Well, if you've had several of these types of relationships, you begin to wonder when your true LOVE will walk into your life, right? Honestly, this has only happen to me once in my almost 50 years on this earth. And I can tell you with all certainty, you'll immediately go well past the superficial and straight to the pit of your gut (your soul). Fear is apart of it, although it's the kind of fear you respond to not to protect your heart but to examine, discover and amazement of the overwhelming possibility of true love.

My grandparents were married for 76 years and I once asked them what the key to their relationship was....she replied simply to say that it's two things: Communication and Intimacy. Who would have thought that's all it would take...well, that's a lot to roll into a couple of words. But she's right on the money. Think about it....when two people are truly in love, their communication (and I mean any and everything spoken honestly and openly) and intimacy (everything from holding hands, touching, a look and of course sex) are balanced and flowing.

Perhaps I've learned a lot over the years to share such virtues as these two words, but when this person come waltzing into your life and your heart melts with passion, love and adoration - you have arrived. So when it happens...remember, it's not fear...it's destiny!

Falling "properly in love" might be a good test of a person who is ready to love and make a committment about love... like the concept of teaching kids to read they read when they are ready but the teacher will encourage it by reading to the kids in those early stages of learning.. some jump on at the very beginning and others don't get on for a long time till they are adults and realize they missed the moment and take GED or adult literacy led by tutors at a community library... well where is that one person at ? Most men in our age bracket are in the latter group ...knowing that they have missed and messed up on the basic male-female relationship and in learning how to be humble and give of themselves to another person, wholly and completely. I think there are men out there with that kind of mindset...

It is that fear that ended my marriage after 18 years. She always had a fear that someday I would leave her, so much so that she build walls and hid parts of her life from me to that point that I could no longer trust her. Once the trust was gone I began looking into all she had hid, and she found her lying to me to keep it hidden. Its over now and I feel like a fool for trusting and believing anything she ever told me. I often wonder if her fear has infected me so much that I will never trust again. I do know that my pain is such that I choose to hurt others rather than to allow them a chance to hurt me. I will always be lonely now and will never have what we could have, what we should have had. I am sorry that I project my pain onto all of you. Thank you for letting me hurt.

I also think women have a better intuition about the emotional side of their lives than men do.
But both men and women can get that state of panic feeling when things start to get good, fear takes over as you have indicated. And worse yet some men can not be in touch with their emotions and not engage the woman in her emotional mode of communication..So there is an inability of the man to communicate on the level a woman needs. My guess is that women can see the lack of communication when it is evident to them.. The last one to find out and hear about it is the man.. And he still might be clueless about how to respond.. Men often talk about facts and not feelings.. plans and advice.. not responses to the woman's emotional mindset.. Not a melding of the male and female mind and heart.

AKH - love is a two-way street. A person cannot tango alone neither can a relationship flourish and grow without two people sharing TOGETHER. Even though the two men in my r/l have wanted others than me, I still believe in true love. Listen to your heart and your gut - they will guide you to control YOUR destiny.

If you want the "brass ring", then grab onto it, hold it tightly and never let it go. Just be sure deep in your heart that the person that you want to commit to will treat you respectfully, with a smile, love, gentleness and has a heart that is just as big as yours!!

I read this time and again and I cannot get over how true this is. It's very hard to take that leap of faith, especially when you have become used to where you now are. You may not be comfortable where you are but you feel safe and it's hard to leave that place. But just think of the rewards of finding that true love. I hear that it's a wonderful place. And I hope I can find it with that special woman. And I hope you can find it too. Dont be sad....I wish you all that happiness. All that the world can give you because you, my lady, deserve every moment of it..... And that is my humble opinion.....

Real love IS a scary thing. Especially if you have been through some bad experiences. It only makes it more terrifying. Just remember, if it is true love....well, that is truly a wonderful gift. We can only hope to experience it and know when to grasp it tightly so as to not let it escape. And I can say that I think you have accomplished a lot. More than you truly think. You shouldn't have to give it up. And that commitment works both ways......and so does the love.

I see it this way. Like going swimming in a lake or river.. you get your feet wet first.. if the temperature is ok you proceed to get the rest of you wet and soon you are immersed in the water, so it is with a new relationship.. You have to test it out and find where the rough waters are too. If you experience those rough waters and come through it for the better you know you can survive rough times in your relationship.. Bailing before you get a chance to see what the rest of the experience holds for you doesn't make sense to me.

I believe love is an ever evolving emotion. If the man loves you, he should be an addition to what you have, you should not be giving up anything.
I feel much the same as on1wow. True love builds over time, as we begin to appreciate the things that make our partner who they truly are, and how they treat us.

A great man once said, Lust only last a few years at most, after that you better hope your with someone you like.

At your age I would rather you played it safe,and very since any untoward step could make it very difficult to reconcile. Look for someone who is more a chat partner than a sex partner and very considerate. Befriend as many as possible as there is more chaff than grain out there. If you hit on anything always go for a second opinion and if possible a third opinion since a genuine friend could see what you are blind to. Happy hunting.

I'm learning (even at 47), love is a job. It takes hard work, sacrifice and compromise. Once it blows open the door and sweeps you off your feet, you really can't sit still and expect that everyday. Blowing open doors and the feet sweeping thing, those are special effects in a big budget movie. They are used to enhance what is already there.

I go 110% with Theheartofmemphis. When it's there, you just can't help it. The fears are all there but you just feel right inside. It's either you go for it, or ignore it. But if you try to yield, if ever you try to give in, be also prepared for the sad part. As they say, it's better to love and be loved than never have experienced anything at all.

Love is a very scary thing...commitment is even more scary!! Noone knows how the love will turn out and noone every wants to be hurt beyond belief! But I do belief when that special someone comes along then you forget all about those fears..if only for a short while!

Sometimes you just have to dive in and take your chances, yes it may cost you money, time, or whatever, but the cliche "better to have love and lost rather than not know love at all" is a cliche for a reason, I will always go for the adventure over playing it safe

Love is something that is hard to describe. Its a feeling that can be misleading. It has to be taken with a bit of faith and caution. But I believe love is as important as Food and Water. When you find true love, its a powerful experience and you feel safe in the feeling without hesitation or fear.

real love is very scary that is why we sometimes settle for less so we don,t get hurt marriage is even scarier you are putting everything out there and there are never any guarentees it will be till the end of time so many if us shy away myself included , vinny

I can understand how you feel. Love makes us vulnerable. Its this vulnerability that makes it exciting. But we must protect ourselves. Our hearts are fragile, and if it doesn't work out it, it is us who have to suffer the pain. So we must go in slowly with caution.

Love simply means putting someone else's well being and happiness ahead of your own~ at least to me it does

I think so
I not afraid of a commitment I am afraid to tell a person I love them as the ones I have told that too have died

Oh ,yes ,it could have been me !
60's sole ,love never changes so where have you been down the doc's again? Jon x

I'd be happy to go out on a nice date! LOL

nicely written!

Very well written.
XOXO+++

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