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I Need Help Can Anyone Help Me Here

After 20 years of wasting my life I feel like I need to start growing up a little bit... and I have no idea how to go about starting my life. I have a job, I’m earning money, I’m really freaking dumb, dropped out of college, have to pay back loans, don’t have many skills... I feel like I’m going no where and I don’t know what to do. I’m tired of sitting around playing games and listening to music all the time, I’m just clueless on how to start things. I’ve always had an issue starting small and I get overwhelmed easily. I still live with my parents, I have no car, I don’t know how to do a lot of things. I feel like the most childish adult in the planet. I don’t know what to do.

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Mamapolo2016 · F

When one is in the kind of shape you're in right now, life seems like a huge tangled ball of yarn and doing anything about it feels overwhelming.

1. Decide to do something constructive about it.

2. Find a direction. Where do you want to go from here? Don't make your only goal financial independence. Start smaller. For instance, I want to get a car.

3. Figure out the necessary steps to complete your getting a car goal. Save money, and yes, you can. You may have to pass up Starbucks and movies but you can save. When you get a paycheck, start a savings account and deposit what you can manage. if you have automatic deposit for your pay, set up automatic transfer to a savings account. You won't even miss it.

4. Pretend it's a class project to find out what you're interested in and what you're good at. Ask friends and family what THEY think you're good at.

5. If your parents know how to do any of the things you can't currently do, ask them to teach you.

That ought to keep you busy for a while.

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Throger · 26-30, M

@Mamapolo2016 at this point I will have to. The restaurants around here are mostly fast food and I don’t feel like that’s a good introduction to culinary though I’m probably wrong. I have no idea

Mamapolo2016 · F

Found this online:

Steps to Becoming a Chef
Find a job working in a restaurant kitchen. Knowing how the kitchen and restaurant works is vitally important to becoming a chef. ...
Get a high school diploma or GED. ...
Go to culinary school. ...
Obtain practical work experience. ...
Certification.@Throger

Throger · 26-30, M

@Mamapolo2016 well one step down haha. Paying back loans is a must first however

LucyFuhr · 56-60, F

You can't be that "dumb" if you've come to this realization at your age. If you still feel the same way in your 40s...then, I'll totally agree with you.

Whenever I've felt overwhelmed, "lists" always help to organize my thoughts. You've started with a list of cons, now list the pros.

Then make a list of what you'd rather see in your lists and work towards achieving those.

P.S. I wish you the best!

Throger · 26-30, M

@LucyFuhr I’ve always procrastinated on that 😂 I’m very unorganized but maybe trying to be organized is the first step. Thank you though. I do feel dumb, both in life situations and book smarts. I’m trying not to get down on myself and to be honest I’m very disappointed in myself. Always thought I’d be moved out, have a full time job, going through college successfully by now and I haven’t.

LucyFuhr · 56-60, F

Independence, a good job and a diploma/degree are all wonderful things but they come with their own headaches too. You'll experience all of those soon enough LOL

The great thing about having nothing you're proud of is, you also have nothing to lose. It's okay to be disappointed in yourself...especially when that disappointment inspires you to do something about it.

Just take it one step at a time.
One step is an achievable and realistic goal.

Even for a procrastinator ;)

Throger · 26-30, M

@LucyFuhr I just can’t see myself going back to college at the moment. I need to pay back loans and I have a headache with that. I need a more hands on learning experience

RadiantRuby

🤗 Start taking driving lessons, take a short term career course but life is very expensive continue to live with your parents

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RandomUniverse · M

Also, is it possible you suffer from depression? Because that can make everything look hopeless. There are online questionnaires to screen for it. If you are, step #1 is see a psychiatrist and address that condition.

Throger · 26-30, M

@RandomUniverse I do. I am diagnosed with bipolar depression and a severe anxiety disorder. It’s been difficult working past that. The medication I am prescribed makes me feel okay but I understand treatment is both medication and therapy and therapy... is difficult for me. But I may have to consider it again

RandomUniverse · M

Yeah, you have to get that shit back in its cage to have a fighting chance at moving forward. I don't know what the manic part is like, but the depressive part is like trying to march through quicksand. Getting that behind you puts you back to the starting line.

boklenholley7 · F

You could take a few courses and get a certificate in something so you can get a better paying job.. then try to learn something useful (like cooking, driving, laundry, or just whatever you think you'll need to know when you do get out on your own.)
I get discouraged easily too. I use the app habitica to make myself feel like I'm making progress in things that take a long time to see any results in.

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Throger · 26-30, M

That is true! I tend to go... overboard with cooking and buy stuff I don’t always need 😂 but yes I think for right now this job is a step in the right direction. It’s late too and I always get into my feelings at night

boklenholley7 · F

@Throger I understand haha. Any job is good as long as you can save money.
Maybe you could just work on one recipe at a time.. perfect the one before moving to the next so that you only buy for the one recipe and don't waste any money or food?

Throger · 26-30, M

@boklenholley7 oh god working on one thing at a time? Haha I’m very bad with that

Scarlet5 · 26-30, F

High five, bro. I’m in the same boat except unemployed and completely hopeless, with several disorders that keep me from going anywhere with my life hehe I feel like I haven’t aged a day past my 14th birthday... it really sucks. Wish I could at least get a job.. My only advice is to pursue your passions... writing and culinary arts, was it? Whatever makes you happy will be worth it, just have fun. You won’t regret doing the things you love

Throger · 26-30, M

@Scarlet5 you’ll get there man I promise. I understand the disorders part. Not sure in what context you mean but I have an idea. Let’s just say I didn’t prepare for a future. I hope everything works out for you too!

coary987 · M

First of all think about what you would really want to do and doing it would make you happy.
Then when you got that in your head ask yourself right where do I start to get there.

Throger · 26-30, M

@coary987 cooking and writing make me happy. So does music but I’ve tried playing 😂 not the best at it haha. Anything that involves being outside and/or creativity

coary987 · M

@Throger then go the chefs way .
And the music as a release after your shift.

Throger · 26-30, M

@coary987 i would still like to consider things before I rush into something like I did college. And music I’m not the best with. I’m more of a listener than a producer of music

Mamapolo2016 · F

The biggest hurdle you'll have to jump is inertia. Things that are still tend to remain still. Get your butt in gear and do SOMETHING. The next thing will come easier.

Throger · 26-30, M

@Mamapolo2016 this job is the step in the right direction. But yes, yes I do 😂

wakanda4eva · 26-30, F

PSHH LEZ GO, I CHALLENGE YOU TO THE MOST CHILDISH ADULT IN PLANET DUEL> *places card* ONLY LEAVING THE ROOM TO PISS AND SHITT ACTIVATE

harmlesscheesecake · 41-45, F

@wakanda4eva *rents apartment and lets parents pay the rent activate*

wakanda4eva · 26-30, F

@harmlesscheesecake heh heh heh ahhhhhhh such a pathetic card, at least you go out of ur way to rent an apartment, I live in my parent's basement 😎

Throger · 26-30, M

Jeez 😂

Chrisy1 ·

I don’t think ur as dumb as you think - you have the sense to realise a change is required, you have a job too - that’s a decent start!

Throger · 26-30, M

@Chrisy1 Awh well thank you. I’m trying haha

SW-User

Just join a gang or some shit

Throger · 26-30, M

@SW-User 😂 oh jeez haha. Knowing my luck I’d be arrested immediately or killed or something ridiculous

Collegegirl23 · 31-35, F

You can masterbate

Throger · 26-30, M

@Collegegirl23 😂

trackboy · 22-25, M

there is the local community college. many career fields there that pay well and are in demand. doctors can work on your anxiety meds. they tried lithium for your bipolar??

Collegegirl23 · 31-35, F

Collect ur mulla start a business pay off ur loan

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