How to love yourself?

@PeanutsauntieP1982: I would've been dead already if I stopped trying to help

I know how that feels, but sometimes not speaking helps more than speaking. A few years back I was in a bad way after having seen my friends' mom die. I went over to another friends house because she wanted to help me. But rather than use words to try to make me feel better, she just sat with me in silence. I felt better just for her company. D'ya see what I mean?

@PeanutsauntieP1982: but the problem is, most of my friends are online friends, so if I don't reply they think I ignore them

I know how you feel and it can definitely be difficult. Most of us are condition to keep comparing ourselves to others. I still continue to do it sometimes (especially at the gym) but anyway It is because of these reasons that you can't be too hard on yourself if you're still not good at it. It takes practice, from what I've learned the mind can be trained and condition just like the body.

I'm rambling but as to you not passing while others or most of your class is succeeding, there can be many factors that contribute to this.

Some of these factors you might not be aware of. Like for me I could never figure out why I couldn't pay attention in class, why I had to study the material after class on my own. Turns out it was because of my social anxiety which I didn't even know what it was or that I had it.

@dark325: I know what's holding me back, non stop pain. Mental pain which has become so strong that my muscles actually start to ache

@SupremeTomato: what kinda pain I'd this? Is it related to anxiety? When I go through an anxiety wave I find myself exhausted bad my muscles (body) kinda hurting (aching)