What is the christian position on the characterization of Christianity wherein... [Spirituality & Religion]

According to scripture the penalty for sin is death. So there has to be blood taken as payment for your evil deeds.

From what I remember it was an entension of the Jewish custom of animal sacrifice. They would put the sins onto the animal and kill it and I want to believe some wilderness dwelling entity consumed the sins. Kind of like the sin eaters of British legend.
But yeah. Seems like being God he is limited in what he is able to do. Maybe cause he was trying to undo his own work and being something God did that is impossible so he had to find a loophole since everything he does is permanent.

Simple. God is holy, requires perfection. We are by reason of the fall into sin as a human race imperfect. We can achieve a lot of goodness, but still fall short of God's perfect standards. In order for God to be both holy and merciful, He sent Christ to die in our place.

Because he could not have a period so he killed himself to go one better because he hates women (he was actually very forward thinking for his time) and a massive show off. And a zombie. Don't forget he went all zombie 3 days later. Then flew into the sky like an alien. That's some scary horror movie.

God does things for us that are hard to show how much he loves us. All of the old testament is about the sacrifices, and then Jesus becomes the sacrificed lamb Himself. It is very significant message to humans.

I'm not a theologian, but my guess is that it was at least partly demonstrative. Showing His love for us by what He was willing to endure for our sakes. Also, putting a human face on the act of forgiveness made it comprehensible. Free grace can be hard for a lot of people to understand, especially in a culture of legalistic rules and atonement offerings, but tell them it has been bought and paid for with a sacrifice of value beyond measure, and they will have a much easier time accepting it.

It's all pretty bizarre to me

Maybe you should read a book about this toppic? If it really interests you?
Start with Jack Miles

God: A Biography (Old Testament)
Jezus: A crisis in the life of God (New Testament)

Don't start with the last one... or you'll dont understand what he's referring too.

This is too deep for me.

It's cause within creation God reveals all his characteristics, meaning through righteousness he must punish sin, and through His sacrifice he practices His love, and mercy, and his sovereign choices

It's all a clumsy attempt by early man to enslave others.