I Am Having Family Problems

Things have gone from bad to worse.

Since the last time I wrote. My mother and I have not spoken. Strange to say my Sister-in-law is now posting pictures of her child all over my face book page in order to 'gain favour,' with my relatives on it. I have tolerated it because she is a young lady and is only doing what my brother and mother is telling her to do.

My nephew came from abroad the other day. Apparently he only stayed a day before going back. I was surprised until my mother rang. I said to my husband 'Sounds like she is wanting me to go around to her house to help look after my nephew. My son said he would go but not until a weeks time. I said I will do the same. Sure enough after the phone call did not work she visited within three days. I came home from shopping to find her sitting in my lounge. We had what I thought was a congenial time. Although she did keep saying that I should visit her more often and that she cannot do the things she use to. - (blatant hint, hint). Then she said that mobility was her worse problem and that she would like one of those mobility scooters or electric wheelchairs as she had seen a gentleman in town with one and she wanted it so she was able to go to the shops by herself. My mum stated that she wanted a second hand one. And that she saw one in the paper for about £200. I told her I would keep an eye out for her and let her know.

I contacted my younger brother (the one with the face book photo wife), and mentioned it to him stating that if he was willing maybe we could all put in for it and give it to mum as a early Xmas present. I started to search via the internet and free ads sites. I found one local. In good condition. Telephoned my mum to inform her. Said that if she and my step-dad of 37 years liked I would go with them to check it out.

My mum said she would ring me back. Then called and said that my stepdad does not want her to have one. So she decided not to go after one.

My mum is 82 yeas young. When I say younger she is compos Mentos and is mostly fit able she can still walk etc. the scooter was a mobility one the type elderly people use to go to the shops in which is what she wanted. My stepdad is 70 years old. He still drives and is also quite well.

So when I say this was as sarcastic remark to my by my mother. Believe me I am not mistaken. You see I gave up work about 10 years ago (after my mother-in-law died), to look after my husbands disabled uncle who get this was wheelchair bound.

So my mother was using this remark to make her point that I should look after her too.

Many of you reading this will probably think well that's ok. One should look after their parent when they are old.

But tell me would you if:

1. Your mother asks you to leave when you find out your pregnant with your ex-fiancé's child? The man she made sure she got rid of because she did not want you doing what your older sister did and leave the country she resided in.

2. Because you insisted on having the child said you made your own bed of nails and even one Xmas called the police and rang Social Services because you asked her for financial assistance and she said she did not have it. So you in order to feed your child was taking food from the fridge enough for three days until your boss paid you the wages he owed you after Xmas?

3. When you were 8 months pregnant upset you so much that you left the house (where you came to visit) because 1. Your stepdad passed you by in the car walking to where they lived and never bothered to pick you up. Then made you walk all the way back to where you lived. (That is why I am sure I had a premature birth).

4. When you found out that you had cancer and told her you went to say your goodbyes just in care and she said good let her die!

5. Upset your child when he went with them to Poland to represent you and your husband at your brothers wedding and then made him go by train to the hotel whilst they all piled in a mini-van. (By they I mean the best man, one of my other brothers and his wife and the brother that was getting married. Knowing that the boy was a flight risk as he had tried to commit suicide only a few months before.

6 Stranded you and your younger brother 80 miles away from home because you missed the last train the next day being a bank holiday and no trains said that they would not pick you up because your stepdad did not like driving at night. It if hadn't been for a kind hearted Christian fellowship from a local homeless shelter you would not have got home with your 2 years old child, you single parent friend and her two year old child and you nine year old kid brother.

7 Has taken, all your brothers abroad to the Caribbean on holiday but never has taken you or your sister.

9 And finally when you did not do the house (when I was younger), to her liking would hit you with a wooden shoe!

None of my brothers ever did the wash, cooking or cleaning. I was designated chief cook and bottle washer because she was a single parent then and someone had to look after the house whilst she worked to provide for us. I understand that.

But to give two brothers the deposit monies for their five bedroom homes. And to keep quiet when the third embezzled monies from myself on a house I worked hard and purchased myself with no assistance (apparently according to my mother), by making the purchase I was reaching for pie in the sky. Whatever that is supposed to mean.

After all that (the above is just the tip of the iceberg). Would you really want to go be her nursemaid in old age? Really would you. I would like to know. Because I am being made to feel guilty for her bitchiness by the others in my family who do not wish to undertake the task and constantly treat me as the poor relation in this.

But the real reason I will not lift a finger is she knows and is keeping secret about why my son tried to commit suicide. And she is covering her and someone else tracks. So trust her well that mobility scooter debacle prove that she is only doing it for appearance sake not because of any maternal feelings.

That's why I have finally given up. Let her beg all she wants I ain't going to be her carer. As she keeps saying she rich these days go hire only like everyone else.

The Game begins Part 2

So, my poor sister in law was exhausted I expect. Looking after both sets of parents who are all disabled and oap’s. I noticed no photos came off the restaurant event and nothing seems to be mentioned other than my mother’s comments. Which is strange as there would have been over 11 people at least on the day at this event.

My mother’s birthday as I previously mentioned was the next day.
My sister-in-law (wife to the youngest brother), immediately posted a photograph of my mother on her birthday with her youngest grandchild. And stated that the highlight of my mother’s day was to spend it with him.

My return on this was that my mother has 8 grandchildren in total. And whilst the youngest is cute where are the others? As I know she went to that weekend do.

Also noticed that now my telephone calls are blocked again. And I have lost over 270 relatives worldwide off my Facebook page.

That my older sister has disconnected me from as she is the administrator of the family line group.

So why do I say ‘Let the Games begin?’

Because this is political powerplay on the part of my youngest brother and oldest sibling. And my Stepdad.

The oldest sibling did this to an Aunt of ours about four years back. Basics of the background is that she was delivered by this Aunt (midwife), and given to her from birth. As my mother was only 18 and felt she was not in a position to care for her on her own. When my mother got a job which took her to the Uk. My Aunt and mum agreed that the father of the child should take over her care until my mum could send for her. But my Aunt would keep visiting her until then.
Aunt got sent for then my sister. And both remained in the Uk for the next 40 years.

My Aunt helped bring up and look after my niece and nephew whilst my sister worked. This was never afforded to me. I hired babysitters/childminders until I met and married my husband then his mother offered me this service.

Once when my sister and I were out. She got slightly drunk and opened up to me. Obviously she thought I was drunk. I was not. She explained that it was her intention to immigrate again this time to the USA. I asked if our Aunt would go with her. She empathetic that she was not prepared to look after our Aunt in her old age. But she intended to get from her as much as she possibly can.

This I knew would cause friction as my Aunt has nieces and nephews too numerous to mention (hence my 300 strong blog page). And they loved her just as much as my sister. But in the final days. My Aunt sold her home. Suddenly my sister emigrated. My Aunt then stayed with various relatives include the next brother down from me. She became their live in nanny until she was too old to do it.

When she was hoping to live with my mother and her husband (childhood pact between sisters). My mother realised what this would mean that she would need to look after my aunt as she would be the younger one in the family. She listened to my Stepdad who did not want to live with two women in the house. She he manipulated and played up until my mum and Aunt Argued and she came to live with me.

The Games begin Part 1

I promised to add to this story once I had visited my mother.
I did not visit her she came to see me.
It is important to note that someone told her about this story. As when she came to visit. The display of affection towards our stepdad was
comical to say the least. But I was smiling and very happy. My stepdad even made a point of leaving us alone together so we could talk. The only point I became slightly annoyed at her for was when she tried to insinuate that my memory was not as it was and that maybe I had some mental instability. Which my husband who was there put her down on.

So, she retracted that statement and left on good terms. Or so I thought.
The next day I telephoned. My call was barred from her phone. I called later in the day thinking maybe it’s not in its cradle properly. Again, went straight to voice mail. I then contact my older than younger brothers. As I had found that a relative had died abroad and I wanted to ask her who they were and let her know.

I texted my youngest brother no response. Texted my older brother. She telephoned me. And we chatted. Leaving thing amicable.

Since then the routine settled and we telephoned each other regularly.

Last weekend she informed me that she was going to my older brothers for the bank holiday weekend. I tried to contact my younger brother to ask him about something. And he did not respond. That’s when I said to my husband. “They are going to have a family meeting without me. Which means the meeting is about me!” My husband told me to ignore it.

Tuesday morning, I attempted to contact my mother again my stepdad answered. He put my mum on wished her happy birthday. Said I was to attend but over the weekend went down with influenza so I was unable to. That’s when mum confirmed that all the family in the Uk had gone to my brother’s house that weekend. They took her to a restaurant apparently and whatever she ate did not agree with her and the night was ruined as she ended up for a long time in the toilets.

So, it seems the manipulation begins. I figured that my stepdad began to be ignored and got bored so he started to play up to come home. Which is daunting for my poor sister in law as she had to leave work then drive 70 miles or do a 140 miles’ round trip just to drop my mum and stepdad home. I do not know why they did it that way. I would have thought that as my brother is now retired. He could have travelled by train to my mothers. Sat with my dad whilst he drove them back to his place. And did the reverse when they were due to go home. As my stepdad is not that old he is thirteen years younger than my mother and still fully able to drive. He does it when he was to drive 250 miles to the airport with my youngest brother.

The Game Begins Part 3

My Aunt cried on my couch and said that the people she meant to be with and relied on had let her down. We explained to her we were happy to have her but it would be hard at first as we were renovating the house and her room. Which we were going to build on the ground floor would not be ready for another three months. She went back abroad to her family home she died about a year later.

Why games. My oldest sister got the lot all of the money and inheritance Land and houses. Not before accusing my cousins at the family home that they had been stealing from my Aunt.

The next brother down from me. Got a first class ticket to the family home courtesy of my mother. To attend the funeral. I said that my son should go. He said “why she lived with me and I should be getting something.” Needless to say. I know my Aunt left letters for us. She told me so when she was here. I did not expect any money in it. I wanted her last words so to speak. The letters went missing and were never delivered to any of us.

As for my mother, since then she keeps saying that she was annoyed with my Aunt as she should have asked her to take care of her affairs etc. And now she says she keeps seeing her all over the house. I laugh as I am thinking guilty conscience.

It is well to note at this stage. My Aunt was a stepmother to three girls who were my uncles before marriage. She left a will in which they got nothing.

That’s the gameplay and now with the advent of my Aunt’s death they are doing the same to our mother. So they are controlling who she sees who she speaks to and what they say to her. My Older sister to ensure she gets a ‘slice of the apple pie,’ My youngest brother because he wants to be able to pay off for the new house he’s brought. And my stepdad who wants control of it all because after all it’s the reason he married her was for the estate.

As for myself. As I explained to everyone on my blog page. I recently had a wakeup call and got a sell by date. That with the fact that I have accumulated two properties one which I purchased and paid off for myself and the other is my husbands. My son still thought it was better to be out of this world than in it. Has no interest in either premises and lives day to day as if it’s his last? It’s only recently he’s actually speaking as if he has a future.

So as you can see. I expect nothing. I never got the support in life and I sure as hell won’t get it in death. But strange though they are all trying to make me feel guilty because like my cousins abroad they expect me to do the looking after. My mum actually said she wanted me to go fetch for her and she would pay me. I took it as a joke and said. How ill am I mum I’m dying, and you want me to look after you!!!!!!

Enough said.

I had one sister. Haven't spoken to her since 1993. Now I know why.

Mar. 28/17
10:04 pm
EDT