Me: *pulls out box from my closet* *holds up urn* dang birthgiver you need some lotion

@Pretzel that’s exactly why I’m trying because the anger is affecting me

@MommaBear I get it - somebody once told me that anger against another - goes unnoticed - and when they are deceased doubly so.

I don't know any details and won't press - maybe there were issues that she didn't have the strength to control...maybe there was just evil in her ...

maybe putting Ashy on the shelf and screaming at her will let out a little from time to time.

@Pretzel Some people do not deserve forgiveness

@Pretzel @NativePortlander1970 I’m still angry with my father too but don’t have his ashes anymore I dumped them I don’t know why I kept my birth moms ashes though

@MommaBear a mom and daughter - even a good relationship is complex sometimes.

she's your mom is the reason. wish she had been a better one for you

@MommaBear (((((HUGS))))) I am so very sorry 😢🤗💕

@NativePortlander1970 no no it’s okay I’m understanding what he’s saying and he’s right I think I kept her ashes because I wish we had a better relationship and wished she was a better mom.. I relate to her in ways because both of us were abused by bad men.. my father was a sick man and let alcohol make him a horrible person and my mom never protected me because she was afraid of him but blamed me when I spoke out to save myself.. difference between my mom and I is I would do anything to protect my kids even if it meant I’d die trying

@MommaBear She still put her own trauma and blame onto you, that was not right.