I don’t really believe in “The One”

There might be a few people we fall in love with in our life.. and all of it would be meaningful. Love and gentle care is never a waste of time.

Honor your memories and don’t try to desecrate a good relationship just because it didn’t work out. Don’t add to your regrets if you don’t have to. Sometimes people are only in our life for a short time, but that doesn’t make it any less beautiful

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Beautywithin · 36-40, F

I went through some pretty bad headache to get to where i am today. I do believe if i hadn't gone through that, i wouldn't have met my husband. I don’t have any regrets.

UBotMate

I agree with you, I don't believe in "the one" either in terms of any kind of destiny or one-off opportunity. There are just more compatible people and less compatible people and those align with your circumstances at the time. If you meet a very compatible person in ideal circumstances then it can appear like everything is perfect beyond comparison. That same feeling, though, can be replicated by a person meeting a very strong need of yours at a time when you're vulnerable. Indeed, relationships built around the notion of "the one" actually be quite toxic in that they are not built on a stable foundation.

deciblues · 26-30, F

Indeed, relationships built around the notion of "the one" actually be quite toxic in that they are not built on a stable foundation.

@UBotMate Exactly. And it puts the other person on a pedestal, where they have to be perfect or else shatter the idealized image their partner has of them. It’s kind of like living in a fantasy land to me. You can’t ever replace all the exact qualities of someone you once loved, but you’re also not alone in the world if that relationship doesn’t work out. I agree with what you’ve said

deciblues · 26-30, F

I think that I’m mainly coming from a place of believing that “The One” can be a harmful way of thinking about romance, because it can instill anxiety and second-guessing in the relationship, as well as afterwards if it ever comes to an end. I do believe that it would be unfortunate to view any good relationship as “a waste of time”. That’s one way to make yourself miserable and bitter. I think that’s why people talk so much about how much different periods in their life have helped them grow, or taught them things. Because if you see any part of your life as a waste, then you’re doomed to this eternal, sick feeling of regret when you look back. No bueno. Open-mindedness promotes resiliency. We’re always learning things

deciblues · 26-30, F

@deciblues I wish that Kara didn’t move on with other friends, but it was still a really sweet dynamic and I don’t regret it

The dynamic with [redacted] was a bit sick, but it helped me realize for the first time that I’m capable of falling in love.. that I’m not a completely dysfunctional human being

A lot of people in relationships like to be guaranteed a happily ever after, but that isn’t reality for everybody. On a humorous note, imagine if everything we ever wanted in life was guaranteed to us. Our heads would spin off of our neck, trying to keep up with it

ScreamingFox

I agree. I tried it, I was so sure, and I was wrong. It's okay though.

JonLosAngeles66 · M

That's a great way to look at it. Love just happens. Relationships take work. But there should be an ease to it and both should make the other feel strong.

ArtieKat · M

Very true, @deciblues

Ferric67 · M

True story d

hlpflwthat · M

This is really in tune with the universe. To forgo a relationship because it may not end by 'riding off into the sunset' is to cheat not only ourselves, but those who would share their love with us.

Those who would love us.

ImperialAerosolKidFromEP · 51-55, M

"The One" is definitely not a thing for everyone

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