Yes. I have moved on, at least three times, possibly four or five times. My heart was torn to pieces at least three times, and once, I felt as though I would never come back up out of the dark place to which I had gone...but I did.
That being said, my subconscious mind still thinks I am married, and brings the 3rd ex back in my dreams, always interacting normally but very briefly with me, so I have to deal with that, and now my mother comes back also, usually in the same dreams. Both of them were physically abusive. So I know my subconscious mind is still trying to sort things out.
It makes the day following the dream a tiny bit more sad, but I know what dreams are for, and they are healthy things.
You’ll always have the memories. Bad experiences can change you on a cellular level. There’s even belief that the trauma of your family that came before you lives within your body as well. But there are ways to move forward and cope and deal with the bad things to where you don’t give them power in your future.
Get a pet if you don’t have one. Find new hobbies to sink your teeth into. Find a mental health podcast that deals with coping with the past so that you move on in a healthy way. And meditate - man, this one has been changing my life. There are a ton of YouTube videos out there that walk you through some of it.
Here’s a little chart I refer to pretty regularly. I can pinpoint what I’m really feeling and then then see different things or activities that can produce chemicals in my brain to help me cope. It’s pretty interesting and actually helps.
Most do and they carry with them the residual aches, scar tissue, and lessons encountered along the way while sharpening their vision and coping skills, and possibly building a wall around their heart until it has had time to properly heal. Unfortunately some can’t move on though. They get stuck in the struggle and as much as they try and fight they just can’t harness the light that’s trying to reach them to help them in their fight.
@Spumoni Man, do those echoes know how and when to hit us hard. So sorry to hear you’re going through that. You’re a smart guy who’s self-awareness is through the roof so you don’t need these words, but gonna put them out there anyway. Gather your breaths as often as you can and try not linger in the prison our minds can create a little too easily. We have reserved strength we’re not even aware exists until we need to tap into it, so allow yourself to lean on it right now. And lean on [i]her[/i]. Nature is there for you. She listens. She cleanses our soul when we need it by simply existing. Sit with her for a spell and feel her power seep into you, shifting the focus from the weight you’ve had to bear to instead focusing on recharging your heart, spirit, and mind while reminding you you’re never alone in your struggles.
@Spumoni I’ll accept payment in the form of thumbprint cookies 😉
Honestly everything I said you have housed within you. It’s just sometimes easier to hear the words from another voice because ours becomes too overcome with intrusive thoughts to be heard properly.
I'm not convinced, but maybe to a point. That's like saying we're never ever going to experience bad situations again, that life is all peachy keen from here on out, and that is just not reality.
Most people DO move on. That's not saying that they forget what happened or get over what happened. They just keep going, and, usually it gets easier to live with.
