If you could say 3 things to make your kidnapper uncomfortable, what would they be?

My clit is bigger than your dick

Aw man these herpes itch..
How were you able to snatch me with all them cops watching? 🤷‍♂️
Uncle Pablo Escobar is going to love you

Stare at them without a blink and say, "This isn't my final form."

I have tuberculosis.
I sing Air Supply when I'm stressed.
I snore.

Well if it was a female I could probably start flirting 😂.

Choke me daddy

You are nice.

I got the clap
Now you got the clap
We got the clap, oh yeah
👏 👏 👏

You’re not doing this for a ransom are you? I hate to say you wasted your time but no ones paying to get me back.

So what’s the plan for dinner? I know we can’t go out but maybe order in? How about grub hub I’d like some curry.

Is this what you always wanted to do with your life? Your big dream future? I bet your guidance counselors didn’t think you would pull it off. Good for you.