If you could say 3 things to make your kidnapper uncomfortable, what would they be?

You’re not doing this for a ransom are you? I hate to say you wasted your time but no ones paying to get me back.

So what’s the plan for dinner? I know we can’t go out but maybe order in? How about grub hub I’d like some curry.

Is this what you always wanted to do with your life? Your big dream future? I bet your guidance counselors didn’t think you would pull it off. Good for you.