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ToSirwithLove · 31-35, F
Very hard for me, for years my mom kept me away from my dad and all she did was tell me lies. I never got the chance to meet him,, and when I did finally meet his family he had already died. I don't trust her, and it’s hard to have a relationship with someone you don't trust. I learned to love my mom from a distance because that's the way it has to be for my sanity. But, idk your situation with your mom, I hope you're able the work things out, if not I understand.
darkknightt · M
@ToSirwithLove I have worked out the things with my mom
ToSirwithLove · 31-35, F
@darkknightt I am glad to hear that! 😊
Grateful4you · M
Most folks here already heard my story of sexual abuse by my mom. So, I have no expertise. Luckily dad was kind and compassionate and provided the "mothering" Our mutual love of nature and sense of humor allowed him and I a thriving, intact relationship.
Reflection2 · M
Listen more.
Don't react immediately. Stay clam.
Obey, even if you think it doesn't make sense.
On top of all. Focus on achieving your goals. A man is only recognised by his achievements.
Don't react immediately. Stay clam.
Obey, even if you think it doesn't make sense.
On top of all. Focus on achieving your goals. A man is only recognised by his achievements.
bijouxbroussard · F
Depends. I was lucky in that regard. They evolved and I’ve always been very responsible, which they respect.
darkknightt · M
@bijouxbroussard Well I think you are right both sides need to evolve
Peppa · 31-35, F
It's impossible when you have a parent see your sweetness (childlike behaviour) as a means to break you down.
I remember when I used to visit family members one aunt used to say stop talking in that baby voice. It used to really upset me because it wasn't. But I realise now the upbringing I had. That now at 29 I'm still treated like a child and then undermined, if I step out of 'line'.
I remember when I used to visit family members one aunt used to say stop talking in that baby voice. It used to really upset me because it wasn't. But I realise now the upbringing I had. That now at 29 I'm still treated like a child and then undermined, if I step out of 'line'.
darkknightt · M
@Peppa it's killing me from inside couple with other things
Peppa · 31-35, F
@darkknightt I'm sorry about that.
Has something in particular happened?
In my situation when I really needed my mum up until 25 she was preoccupied and treated me like she could care less like I was a nuisance. Then I had a breakdown + my dad got sick and she's been playing all these odd games, not answering calls when I ring, and calling back hours later.
Not wanting to go out and do things then snapping when we do or implying I'm not appreciative.
If I want to be quiet in a crowd she will keep talking at me until I reply in a snappy way.
(I get it, she's annoyed that I exposed her behaviour and is trying to destroy my reputation)
Has something in particular happened?
In my situation when I really needed my mum up until 25 she was preoccupied and treated me like she could care less like I was a nuisance. Then I had a breakdown + my dad got sick and she's been playing all these odd games, not answering calls when I ring, and calling back hours later.
Not wanting to go out and do things then snapping when we do or implying I'm not appreciative.
If I want to be quiet in a crowd she will keep talking at me until I reply in a snappy way.
(I get it, she's annoyed that I exposed her behaviour and is trying to destroy my reputation)
Budwick · 70-79, M
No more difficult than developing a relationship with anyone else!
Show interest in the other person.
Talk to them, often.
Share your thoughts, listen to theirs.
Not rocket surgery! LOL
Show interest in the other person.
Talk to them, often.
Share your thoughts, listen to theirs.
Not rocket surgery! LOL
View 7 more replies »
Budwick · 70-79, M
@darkknightt Sorry about your Dad.
You said PARENTS in your opening statement.
There was no way to know.
So, work on the relationship with Mom.
Don't let her pass without having tried.
You said PARENTS in your opening statement.
There was no way to know.
So, work on the relationship with Mom.
Don't let her pass without having tried.
darkknightt · M
@Budwick thanks, I am trying to be more patient with her
This message was deleted by its author.
Adstar · 56-60, M
If your parents establish that relationship with you as a Child it is as easy as drinking water that has been served up for you....
If your parents decide to prevent such a relationship developing between you and them when you are a Child..... Almost impossible..
If your parents decide to prevent such a relationship developing between you and them when you are a Child..... Almost impossible..
newdawnnewday · 22-25, F
@Adstar I felt this. When they ruin that relationship and respect as a child, it is hard to give it back as an adult.
Mine is fine .. it's my dad's birthday today and im going over to bake him a cake latter 🙂
darkknightt · M
@SStarfish you are the luckiest person alive
@darkknightt why? 😅😅🙂
4meAndyou · F
That depends on you...and them. I had a distant relationship with my father...but he, at least, was capable of showing affection once in a blue moon. And I had a very bad relationship with my mother. She was physically abusive toward me, and not a bit affectionate. I was constantly manipulated by her, and I hated it.
But she didn't seem to care, as long as I made her look good. She was a narcissist.
So I guess that if your parents are NOT narcissists, and they like you, it shouldn't be too hard.
But she didn't seem to care, as long as I made her look good. She was a narcissist.
So I guess that if your parents are NOT narcissists, and they like you, it shouldn't be too hard.
sillyfire · 41-45, F
My parents are divorced and not living together. I have always had a toxic relationship with my mother, and that will never change no matter how hard I try.
SW-User
Took years for me personally. My parents couldn’t handle me growing up, teen years were heavy.
We’re close now 🖤
We’re close now 🖤
darkknightt · M
@SW-User I wish that for me too 🙁
smileylovesgaming · 31-35, F
Got to get along
Nanori · F
It's impossible
darkknightt · M
@Nanori I am trying to but everything seems to be messed up
Fukfacewillie · 56-60, M
What seems to be the problem?
bijouxbroussard · F
It wasn’t difficult at all, once I moved out and was no longer their dependent.
Donotfolowme · 51-55, F
Impossible with late Dad
Mrsbetweenfatandfit · 26-30, F
I went through hell & high water to reach where we are. I’m closer than I ever thought I could be to a woman I planned on cutting off the moment I left their home. Sadly currently things may not be bad with the man who raised me but they also have endured some damage and that really created a sense of distance between us.