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Is it always wrong to cheat?

Poll - Total Votes: 11
creep
be misirable
leave and hit rock bottom
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You can only vote on one answer.
At what point does someone try to make them self happy. Say someone is married but there is not physical contact except the obligation sex every 2weeks or once a mouth. If you leav you will lose your kids and most of the thing you have worked for? So creep or lose everything?
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I think you skipped the bit where you work on the relationship in an attempt to improve it.
@lonelylonelyer Marriage counselling?
lonelylonelyer · 31-35, M
@Looking lol have you seen what it is like to be a male in marriage counseling? yes we have and it was a waste of time
@lonelylonelyer What happened?!
SW-User
It's one thing to say that you will stay in a bad marriage because you don't want to lose everything, but what if she decides to get a divorce? You could spend another 5 or 10 years like you are now and she could end it. That's exactly what happened to me. You need to find out from her if there's still a commitment from her to you and the relationship. Because if there isn't she will mostly likely not want to stay long-term. The other thing is, at your age you have a much better chance of finding a good relationship than if you wait until your a lot older. Not suggesting you go for a divorce. You should exhaust all other options like marriage counseling etc, but she needs to be as serious about making the marriage work as you are.
SW-User
@lonelylonelyer Ah i see, so you've been to a councellor and it was all about your issues and she didn't feel she had any? I never did this with my ex, but in hindsight, i would have been asking her, what then does she see is the future of our relationship? and take it from there.
lonelylonelyer · 31-35, M
been there done that i tell her that if it were possible i would be convinced she had another relationship.
@lonelylonelyer if it were possible? You might be surprised...
indyjoe · 56-60, M
In some situations some one cheating is understandable...but it is NEVER right. You can either try to work it out, or you can end it and go find someone else. There is no excuse for cheating (even if it is understandable as to why you do it or did it).
LyricalOne · F
Why does leaving equate to losing your kids? There are courts and lawyers. Besides, modeling an unhappy marriage isn’t doing them any favors.
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lonelylonelyer · 31-35, M
@Randy4944 thanks for the advice man
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Try talking to your spouse.
If you cant fix things then you need to decide what you want, to stay with your family or not.
I bet if you left for a few weeks you would realize you actually want to be with your spouse but your getting bored, you need to grow up
@lonelylonelyer she's busy with everything obviously.
Are you putting effort in?
lonelylonelyer · 31-35, M
@MushroomFaerie everything i can think of
lonelylonelyer · 31-35, M
@MushroomFaerie i cook clean and help with kids i tell her she is pretty and try to comfort her when she is upset
Cheating is selfish and dishonest.

Need to discuss your unmet needs with her. She in turns needs to tell you her unmet needs.

Need to figure out what you can do about each others needs.

BTW - Witholding physical intimacy from your spouse is as wrong as cheating.

If you can not meet the needs, then discuss what can be done to meet them. Would you be surprised if she wants to play on the side too?
lonelylonelyer · 31-35, M
@VeronicaJane if she would just talk to me we could move forward i have tried like five times and it just goes back after a few days
@lonelylonelyer so it is a start. The next question is what happens after a few days? Seems like something is missing.

Also can be challenging with young kids.
Dolimyte · 41-45, M
Thats a tough call. If you cheat and she finds out, wont that just make things even worse? What does she say when you say you're not getting enough sex?
Dolimyte · 41-45, M
@lonelylonelyer I don't know your situation, but it sounds like she's checked out of the relationship already. She may just be using you at this point.
lonelylonelyer · 31-35, M
@Dolimyte i would think she was cheating if it were possible for her too as she is checked out
Dolimyte · 41-45, M
@lonelylonelyer its not possible?
curiosi · 61-69, F
Suck it up buttercup, you made kids now do the right thing by them!
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curiosi · 61-69, F
Yep, stayed with my ex until he left. Then I stayed single as I didn't want strange men around my child. Child was first responsibility.
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