Is it always wrong to cheat?

Poll - Total Votes: 11

creep

be misirable

leave and hit rock bottom

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You can only vote on one answer.

At what point does someone try to make them self happy. Say someone is married but there is not physical contact except the obligation sex every 2weeks or once a mouth. If you leav you will lose your kids and most of the thing you have worked for? So creep or lose everything?

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SW-User

It's one thing to say that you will stay in a bad marriage because you don't want to lose everything, but what if she decides to get a divorce? You could spend another 5 or 10 years like you are now and she could end it. That's exactly what happened to me. You need to find out from her if there's still a commitment from her to you and the relationship. Because if there isn't she will mostly likely not want to stay long-term. The other thing is, at your age you have a much better chance of finding a good relationship than if you wait until your a lot older. Not suggesting you go for a divorce. You should exhaust all other options like marriage counseling etc, but she needs to be as serious about making the marriage work as you are.

lonelylonelyer · 31-35, M

@SW-User that is honestly something i am worried about. she is a few years older then me and i have raised a kid she had in high school and we have two together. this just really sucks

SW-User

@lonelylonelyer Yes, sadly it's a horrible situation for you to be in. The other thing is, she may feel the relationship on an emotional level is over, but she knows at her age and with kids it'll be hard to find another guy, certainly one at your age. She is most likely not even going to find one her own age as she has kids so probably much older. So with that in the back of her mind, she may well just be sticking with what's probably the best situation for her at the moment.

lonelylonelyer · 31-35, M

@SW-User this is true

SW-User

@lonelylonelyer Having said all that, i wouldn't give up just yet though. As some other suggested, i think you need to talk to her about marriage counseling. How she reacts to that will really give you an idea about how she feels about the relationship long term. Good luck with it all.

lonelylonelyer · 31-35, M

@SW-User lol yo wanna know something actually funny we are booth in a masters program to be counselors

SW-User

@lonelylonelyer Sure, there's gotta be a bright side to this hopefully.

lonelylonelyer · 31-35, M

@SW-User it probable makes the situation worse as we are both going to be counselors

SW-User

@lonelylonelyer lol..omg that is kind of funny, but i'm not laughing, i guess it also means that you'll both have some practical experience to call on. So based on that, she should totally be up for marriage councelling or other wise feels it's over. When i suggested it to my ex, she told me that i should go alone as i'm the one who has the problem. That was my sign, although i was too blind to see it at the time.

lonelylonelyer · 31-35, M

lol that is pretty much how it goes i know i am not perfect but all we can seem to talk about is me and went to counseling and it was the same way

SW-User

@lonelylonelyer Ah i see, so you've been to a councellor and it was all about your issues and she didn't feel she had any? I never did this with my ex, but in hindsight, i would have been asking her, what then does she see is the future of our relationship? and take it from there.

lonelylonelyer · 31-35, M

been there done that i tell her that if it were possible i would be convinced she had another relationship.

VeronicaJane

@lonelylonelyer if it were possible? You might be surprised...