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How do you handle being left out, excluded ?

What do you do when you’re left out ?
Husband has a group of long long time friends (like 20 years) They keep inviting us to their huge parties and their huge houses (they all live in one area). For like birthday parties, baby stuff, to watch football, etc. My husband is really close to these people and I always go to the get togethers a and have a LOT of fun. Have been for like 4 years. I always leave thinking aw I want to hang out with these girls. (The wives of my husbands friends) Well my husband now gets together once a month with the guys to pay poker. Ive texted the wives a couple times before they all get together to ask if they are up to anything, maybe want to go out while the guys are hanging out and I keep either getting a hey! “I am so busy this weekend, we’ll all get together soon!” Or no response at all. THEN .. ughh..to add salt in the wound - the SAME day, I end up seeing them all together on Facebook getting together to play cards. All 10 of them, get together and play cards. I feel SO left out, and like I just was the only kid that didn’t get invited to the Birthday party. I just became a mom to a now awesome 1 year old, We are good giving, also successfull people just looking to have friends and I can’t wrap by brain around why 10 girls would get together and I not be invited - even after I’ve made attempts to reach out and make it clear I’m interested to hang out. It’s so upsetting. Anyone been through this? What was your experience and what do you think about it all now looking back ? The only thing I can think of is that maybe they are all 5-10 years older than me- but to me that shouldn’t be s big deal.
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
I'm often (almost always) left out. I don't know if I make people uncomfortable for being too intense. Unlike you though, I might have traces of social anxiety which makes me feel awkward so I don't usually mind being left out.

In your case, from what you have written, it sounds like you are viewed as an intrusion on an existing clique.
MasterofNone · 26-30, M
I haven't been through exactly that because of obvious reasons. But I've been left out by almost everyone in my life and I just try to make myself my best friend. I talk to my self I hang out with myself, I go out with myself and other people become secondary in my life. That is better than it sounds.
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
@MasterofNone What are the obvious reasons?
Brassm0nk3y · 36-40, F
@MasterofNone yeah I hear you - I’ve been like that my whole life and have only 1 or 2 good friends. I was just hoping the would include me and maybe I could for once have a group of girlfriends to hang out with :-/.
MasterofNone · 26-30, M
@MarkPaul obvious reasons are that I'm not a women so I can't have a husband who would leave me out.

@Brassm0nk3y I don't know what to say. That's probably the only unsatisfactory thing in my life. I can feel at ease almost all the time using mindfulness meditation and it really works but even if you get a deep sense of peace you can still feel that little void in you which can be filled relationships where attention is valued.
DonaldTrumpet · 70-79, M
FiNds NewS FrienDZ
DonaldTrumpet · 70-79, M
@MarkPaul BreTTz My FrIenDz
And SoZ is His DaughTeRz
DonaldTrumpet · 70-79, M
Groofydorkgerdo · 56-60, M
Seems you weren't met to fit it in n, but rather stand out.
If they don't want to include you, screw it,leave them be, start your own circle of friends
Do your own thing, take time to pamper yourself.
Spend more time with your husband doing things together, with him.
KaiserSolze · 46-50, F
They sound mean.
destinyfabulous · 36-40, F
How does the your husbands guy friends treat u... Do they acknowledge u and are respectable toward you. Cause how his friends and by extension his friends wives treat you could be a reflection of the image your husband painted of u to them.
I went to a family friend's bridal party once and she would just chat with my sister in law and other friends and ignore me..

Its not fun..
Divorce is imminent.
Brassm0nk3y · 36-40, F
@lorelei no I mean my husband is great. He thinks it’s weird too - and in fact says he thinks he’s out on the guys side pretty soon too
Doesn't sound like he's backing you up. He goes out with them all anyway.
Brassm0nk3y · 36-40, F
@lorelei just the guys. The wives do their own thing. I wouldn’t want to put a stop to his guys night because it’s nice having a night to myself lol.. and good for him to get out I guess
SW-User
If your husband doesn’t drop that group too he’s a cunt
SW-User
Your husband is the problem..

 
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