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How do I tell him I want more of him?

This guy added me on Facebook last year and he messaged me to tell me that I was cute. So, great, right?

Him and I have been kind of talking for a while and I've been going to his house a lot. We have sex and cuddle when I stay the night. However that's pretty much it.

He holds my hand sometimes and the very last night I seen him, he kissed me and hugged me for a long time before I walked out the door.

I don't know how to approach him because he's so nonchalant about things. Like very relaxed and we haven't talked about anything important like that. I think he's just as scared as I am.

So how do I let him know that I want a little more with him without being broad about it? I don't want to scare him away.

And I'm also kind of scared of getting rejected because we have a good thing going right now. Hellllllp.
SaraxKay
31-35, F
20 replies 90 views Jan 19, 2018
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Africalaskin · 26-30, F
I always felt the same way but the truth will come out sooner or later.
I've learned that if things are going great not all the time do we have to give in and ask for more right then and there. Letting things play out can be better.
However, I understand the need for answers. The only way you get that is through your own words. You have to talk to him and no one can really tell you how. You know him better than we do, darling. Dont be scared though, if its not meant to be and he does reject you...then at least you'll know you won't be wasting a bunch if time on someone that doesn't care.
+ 4 · Reply · Translate · Jan 19, 2018
SW-User
@Africalaskin great advice
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Jan 19, 2018
SaraxKay · 31-35, F
@Africalaskin You're right, most definitely. I've been a friend with benefits before with someone else but I didn't have feelings for him.

But this guy is interesting, and I like interesting. But I've got to learn how to put my big girl panties on and try.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jan 19, 2018
SW-User
Maybe he is scared that you will reject him as well. I'd just tell him that I really enjoy spending time with him more than anyone else. Then I would probably tell him if he ever wants to move on to the next step that I'd be open to that too. Good luck. You look like a very beautiful girl. He'd be crazy to not act on it.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Jan 20, 2018
SaraxKay · 31-35, F
@SW-User Thank you for the advice and comment. I'm mainly just scared because I've never been shy to tell someone my feelings before.

It shouldn't be this hard! 😁
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Jan 20, 2018
SW-User
@SaraxKay you're right it should be easy. Good luck.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Jan 20, 2018
SoggedNapped · 31-35, M
Just be honest:

"THis is really hard for me to say, but I really like spending time with yo uand would like us to be a thing... which we can discover as we go along. I would like to spend more time with you..." talk about not getting a drawer/toothbrush.. but try.. he cannot guess.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jan 25, 2018
sassypants · 36-40, F
Start by inviting him to do something with you outside of your routine. Maybe a party or something public. See how he reacts to being a couple and gradually ask him questions to see where he is going.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jan 19, 2018
river52 · 70-79, M
Be honest with him. Tell him how you feel. Then listen.... listen carefully. Then decide if it’s something you can go along with.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jan 20, 2018
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SaraxKay · 31-35, F
@TotalMiss that could be a good way to start it, a good way to start that convo.

I wanted to ask him about his past relationship but I don't think that'll help us any way in the future.

Some people don't have great pasts with relationships.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Jan 20, 2018
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SaraxKay · 31-35, F
@RippinKlouds I've never mentioned that. What I clearly said was that I wanted more, to actually get to know him and not just his dick.

Not all relationships have to do with being married or having kids. Not everyone wants marriage or kids ever, i.e; me.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jan 20, 2018
EnigmaticGeek · 61-69, M
Well, if things don't or didn't work out with him, I know there's at least one other awesome guy who'd date you.
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Aug 11, 2019
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LyricalOne · F
Do you go out and do things or is it just sex?
+ 0 · Reply · Translate · Jan 19, 2018
LyricalOne · F
@SaraxKay Gotta tell ya, that's not a great sign. And it really sounds like you have nothing to lose by asking him out to lunch, dinner, a movie, whatever. Because if he says no to that, then at the end of the day, you're just a booty call.
+ 2 · Reply · Translate · Jan 20, 2018 · Edited: 8 yrs ago
SaraxKay · 31-35, F
@LyricalOne I felt the same way when I put myself in that position in the first place.

I didn't think I would have feelings like this with him because I didn't the first time. But once I came back into town he messaged me again to see how I was doing.

I invited him somewhere tonight, but he had to work an overnight shift. He never turns down to me inviting him somewhere, it's just my work schedule and his work schedule interfere sometimes.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jan 20, 2018
LyricalOne · F
@SaraxKay Then I'm confused. You said you haven't gone out anywhere yet, that you've just watched movies at his house and had sex.

Bottom line is you two need to start seeing the light of day outside of his bedroom if there's going to be any chance of a real relationship. If he wants that, it's a good thing. If he's resistant, you also have your answer.
+ 1 · Reply · Translate · Jan 20, 2018 · Edited: 8 yrs ago
 
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