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If you were me could you forgive him?

Poll - Total Votes: 39
Hell no
Maybe if I can be sure he is sorry and would never do it again
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He is my dad's best friend and he is good friends with my mom too. My brothers and me always call him "uncle". If they found out it would hurt everybody so much and cause so much grief that I just keep it to myself
I'd be out for revenge. Maybe a pot of boiling water 'accidentally' spilled on his lap.
JohnOinger · 41-45, M
You should tell them he should be in Prison
000OOO · 100+, C
aprilmay - I did tell and so should you sweetie. It is the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but if not for yourself, do it to stop him. There will be other girls that he will hurt, just like you.
I was 8 years old when it happened to me and I was horrified beyond belief. You grow up too fast when something like that happens. You go from being a child who only sees nice things like flowers and birds to seeing how cruel the world truly is, but you will be okay.
This will make you stronger and it will make you love yourself even more when you come out the other side fighting for YOU.
No.. my situation was complicated, I think I told when I was young, I was told to shut up, I had a buried memory for years, .. that came back to life when I had my first baby..
then for whatever reason the whole thing became clear, all those muddled memories came flooding back..
It stays with you.. You should deal with this now.. don't have this hanging over you the way I did..
There's nothing I can do about this now..
I'm 42.. at the time.. I did accuse him..
and of course.. he's so guilty I was cut out of the will and ostracised..
he's never contacted me since..

I hope you can be strong for YOU!!!! and deal with it..
If you don't..
you're hurting yourself in the long term.
If you do deal with it, you can close the door on it heal and move on, if you're left like me..
it's there all the time..
I was just in denial. Then I met an 80 year old ladies that was still having issues about her childhood abuse. It made me get help
000OOO · 100+, C
I was also molested as a child and I don't want to sound like a negative person, but usually molesters and pedophiles never change. They have a mental illness that can not be cured and they should be separated from society to prevent them from hurting any other innocent children.
That is my opinion anyway.
I've moved past being molested. I am happy in my every day life, but I will never forgive him. He doesn't deserve my forgiveness. I pity him for being such a disgusting animal though.
First off, forgiveness is not about saying that something that happened is okay. It isn't even really about the person who is being forgiven. More often than not, forgiveness has little or no effect on the person being forgiven/denied forgiveness. Forgiving is about you and what you need. By not forgiving, you hold on to it; let it fester in your soul; let it eat away at you like a cancer while the other person blissfully goes on with their life. Who is being harmed by not forgiving him? You are! Who benefits by forgiving him? You do! It allows you to let it go and move on with you life.
G302634 · 26-30, F
By NOT saying something, you have been the one living in grief. It Won't go away AND he Will try again at some point. You have made it apparent that it was NOT consensual.
Flenflyys · 31-35, F should never forgive him. You should tell your parents. He is a sick, fucked up man and it's not your responsibility to protect him.
G302634 · 26-30, F
Baby girl, I'm praying for you. My heart hurts for you. Trust your dad if you have a great relationship with him. Or like others have said. Tell a teacher you trust. Don't shut everyone out. The pain will only grow.
Flenflyys · 31-35, F
If he is doing this to you, he will take the opportunity with someone else too. April you need to confide in someone. If you can't tell your parents, talk to a teacher and ask her to call them for you.
G302634 · 26-30, F
This guy has to be stopped. Don't let him do to other girls what he did to you. He was wrong. NOT you.
aprilmay · 18-21, F
Gina18 you are right it was not consensual but I know to be careful now and not be alone with him
mic11225 · 26-30, M
Your mental health is more important than your familys relationship with him. If their potential pain is all thats holding you back then I think theres no excuse not to tell them. I'm not going to judge you for whatever you decide but I think that if you have the will to tell them what happened and you think they'll believe you then there's no reason you shouldn't.
G302634 · 26-30, F
Baby girl, he will find a way. He can NEVER be trusted. Anytime he's at your house he's thinking about you. Thinking that maybe since you haven't spoken up, you deep down liked it. That no actually means yes. I'm scared for you girl.
I didn't tell at the time. Once my mom asked me if that cousin had ever been inappropriate with me and I panicked. By the time I was 17 and told my parents, my mom said she knew and couldn't do anything about it because I never said anything
AnnRose · 26-30, F
Please tell he could do it to another girl they dont just stop hes a very sick man!!! Go to the police and tell your parents protect yourself and other girls he could do it to!
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HankStone · 61-69, M
Ask yourself this, will it help YOU to tell?

I mean that as a non-rhetorical question. If you NEED to see him punished to heal, then you should tell. But you don't owe anything to anyone else.

If it will make your life better, and help you heal, then yes, you should tell. But if you don't think it will help you, don't.

This isn't about how others perceive your actions. It isn't about what others think is good for you. You are the victim, and you should do what is right for you.
ArnoldJRimmer · 51-55, M
he is not a "friend" you owe no one and have no responsibility to protect anyone from the damage he did to your life
aprilmay · 18-21, F
Everybody and especially Gina18 thank you so much for your replies. If I tell it will cause so much grief. I'm scared.
Please read all the comments and think about this clearly.
If you were my daughter.. I'd want to know..
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This is gonna effect you, you're whole life you know, you'd be better off getting support now..
For you! you'd be better off dealing with this now, rather than when you're 45..
It won't go away ..
My Dad molested me when I was 6, that prick should be shot as far as I'm concerned.
You should tell them
G302634 · 26-30, F
April. If your dad finds out some other way it will hurt him even more. He will feel like you didn't trust him enough. He will feel like you didn't think he could protect you. I'm a daddy's girl and I know that's how my dad would feel.
G302634 · 26-30, F
Oh my God Mighty. I can't think of anything worse than your own dad. I thank God for my dad. The man he is. I know he loves me the way a dad Should love their daughter. I'm so sorry for the loss of that love for you. :-(
tomtracy438 · 36-40, M
U need tell
aprilmay · 18-21, F
TheMighty maybe you are right but I'm not strong. And it would cause so much trouble for everyone
You are too kind but in this case you should never worry about anyone, but yourself!
aprilmay · 18-21, F
TheMighty? Did you tell?
1961dave · 61-69, M
It's absolutely unforgivable!
Jon2403 · 61-69, M
he should be in jail.
Bluesky52 · 61-69, M
my sister was molested,i cant and don't judge if haven't been there,especially if it's someone you trusted,
aprilmay · 18-21, F
Sicklysweetone? Did you tell?

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