My therapist said to look at a picture of myself when I was a child to really see who I am, that innocence, that little girl who was needing love, and did not get it. But there was so much chaos, violence etc, that I truly don't remember most of my childhood, and, I can't really SEE me ...even looking at this picture of me at one years old. I feel so much kindness, patience, and love for all children I've nannied or as a teacher...yet I feel so numb that I cant feel anything looking at this picture.
I'm supposed to find empathy for that little girl who was mocked or degraded daily, even as a Toddler, but I cant feel anything 😢 How can I try to heal this?
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Is it possible that you disassociated in order to protect yourself? I'm not sure a toddler can do such a thing, but it would explain why you feel disconnected.
@uncalled4 I think so, definitely. I read once in childhood that includes with abuse or having a narcissist parent, the mind will literally blank things out, Bec it's too much to absorb. I think that happened so much that I can barely really see anyone when I look at my photos as a kid. I see other kids and think aww so cute, innocent etc. But don't think of anything on mine.
