My therapist said to look at a picture of myself when I was a child to really see who I am, that innocence, that little girl who was needing love, and did not get it. But there was so much chaos, violence etc, that I truly don't remember most of my childhood, and, I can't really SEE me ...even looking at this picture of me at one years old. I feel so much kindness, patience, and love for all children I've nannied or as a teacher...yet I feel so numb that I cant feel anything looking at this picture.
I'm supposed to find empathy for that little girl who was mocked or degraded daily, even as a Toddler, but I cant feel anything 😢 How can I try to heal this?
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I'm sorry for what the little you went through. Only you know the gravity of that feeling. When I have moments like this, I think to myself that it was not within my control. What is, is my ability to act now and shape who I want to be in 30, 40 years time. That's who I am going to need the most, like this little girl in the picture from my past.
