I’m scared of going into new relationship

Sign up for some therapy first.

You obviously have some issues with trust that aren't getting better by themselves.

It's unreasonable to expect someone to share every little detail of their life with you - even when you are married to them, they still get a reasonable amount of privacy.

If the issue is around his phone, then I suspect that your fear is him potentially cheating on you. Maybe this has happened to you before and you're at the point where you're labelling all men the same.

The problem is that demanding access to emails and text messages is going to put him in a predicament where he will either buy a burner phone that he keeps away from you, sets up alternate email accounts or says "Frick this, I'm done". He could either ditch you or just do what you're accusing him of anyway.

I would not call that normal.

In a loving relationship, being open and honest means being vulnerable to the possibility of being hurt.

Some people might hold back certain bits of information if they think another might reject them because of it - for instance, that they used to have a lot of unprotected casual sex. Or that they were adopted, don't know their biological parents and don't know if they carry any genetic defects that could come out in their offspring. Or that they used to bully certain kids in primary school... etc. Those facts could have serious consequences if you're hoping for a long term relationship.

If someone isn't open about those things, it's worth considering that perhaps they are not trustworthy.
Conversely, you should feel comfortable sharing the same kinds of things with anyone you think has the potential to become a life partner.
It's a natural part of the courtship process - or should be - because honesty is the most crucial aspect of any functional and successful relationship.

On the other hand, trust in the other person's integrity and honesty is also important.
Distrust can cause the paranoid one to try to control. They demand free and random access to their partner's phone and computer, their financial records, laundry, possessions, etc. They want their partner to account for every minute of their time. That kind of behaviour destroys relationships.

Many people have a few things they keep private or secret. Usually the reason has to do with ego or shame over trivial things like mistakes they've made in the past. When someone has learned from those errors and become a better person because of it, such secrets are not a problem. They cause no harm.

When you get to know someone new, the unveiling of selves to each other can be gradual.
Do they do what they say they will do? (Keep their word.)
Do they exaggerate or minimise for the sake of a good story? Or do they tell it like it is?
Do they actions, words and tone of voice match or not? For instance, does he say everything's fine but look nervous - if so, what's the reason? It might be just be nervousness about whether you accept him or not.

Everything in relationships is about balance.

You can get plenty of info at Psychology Today - a free online magazine full of blogs by specialists.

I refuse to become part of today's cell phone culture. I appreciate that these phones have a positive usefulness and practical value. BUT I am especially aware of their limitations and how they have become too much the center of the hub of homelife. Far too often they are the focus of our social life, a primary tool in our professional life often to the point where real hands on, or face to face interactions fail to happen, sometimes for the entirety of the day.

We far too often lose sight of the things in life that are far more important. I honestly think people should take a serious, closer look at how we are using, (or misusing) cell phones on a daily basis.

Don't be a parent who looks up from the couch at the full grown man and suddenly realizes, this is your "little boy" in front of you and suddenly filled with dread that you allowed too many years be stolen for the sake of "just a moment" on the phone.

{@fifidog] 😞sorry you feel this way and i can understand it has knocked your trust in the male species with your last relationship issues . do not jump into another relationship too soon give yourself time too recover from the hurt you must be feeling . you are going too seriously have too put this last relationship to bed as if you go in with suspicion and trust issues any future relationship will not simply work

Take some time to heal from the old relationship. Even if that means taking time for yourself, family and friends. Ending a relationship (if you've done so) can be very hard, especially when you weren't being treated right. It's perfectly understandable the way you're feeling.