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Fifidog Well, some help to spot the signs of an unhealthy relationship is good for everyone - especially when it's not something covered at school. It never hurts to learn the rede flags and ask yourself "Would this be an appropriate response to that???" or "Is he manipulating me with that thing he's doing right now".
If you explain your current problems, they should help you to assess your relationship for other signs of abuse that may be happening and help you to find healthy ways to deal with it.
It could be that you're not communicating openly enough with each other or there could be other abuses happening where you think "Hey, I never thought of it that way before" (abuse can be a sneaky little burger that you don't see until it's way too late and you're married with children).
Sometimes, talking it through with someone else can help you to see what you missed before - both in yourself and in other people that you associate with (relationships, friends, family, acquaintances).
I live in an abusive relationship, too... and the more I've been researching that at home, the more abuse I see around me and the less tolerant I become. Having a therapist can help if you reach a point where you see that you can't go on and you need things like alibis and injunctions. They will have been there with other girls and boys before and they can help you to cover your bases however you need to as well as preventing any attempts to isolate you from the wider world.
Like I've said, your approach isn't healthy... but I suspect that it's just the tip of an even bigger problem iceberg that you have - and you need to take a balanced look at this relationship with the help of a therapist to understand abusive behaviours and how you can respond to prevent a situation from getting to dangerous proportions. You need help to set healthy boundaries and consequences to them so that you know when to stay and when you need to walk away before someone ends up dead. That's important for your own safety.
