What do you do?

My mom passed away unexpectedly today and I don’t know what I am supposed to do. My emotions come in waves. I never thought I would be alive to see the day she passed away. I keep thinking she is alive but remember she is not. I keep wanting to reach out and call her to tell her how sad I am and that I don’t know what to do but I can’t. I know this is bitter sweet that she passed away as bad as that sounds but my mom went through SO much up until today when she passed. The bitter part is I will not see her anymore or talk to her. The sweet part is she’s in heaven and not suffering. I miss my mom. Today I played all her voicemails. My heart is beating so fast right now because I cannot accept this.

Does grieving take long, I don’t want to deal with it? I just want to go bed and not wake up. I don’t even want to go to her funeral because than it will be to real for me. I don’t know what to do. I feel so alone without her, she wa my best friend.

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DMmeyourtits · 26-30, M

My mom passed away two years ago now, and it took about a year for me to even begin the grieving process. It just felt so unreal, like she's not actually dead, and I will probably see her around and we are gonna go grab a coffee some day or whatever. Those were thoughts "from the heart", and when the brain ultimately corrected those thoughts and said it's never going to happen ever again because she's dead... that hit me like a freight train.

You can still talk to her. Write her letters, like, by hand. Let your feelings pour into them. It helped me at least, I'm notoriously bad with dealing with emotions and stuff, but maybe it will also help you.

I'm so sorry for your loss, it's fucking bs