What do you do?

My mom passed away unexpectedly today and I don’t know what I am supposed to do. My emotions come in waves. I never thought I would be alive to see the day she passed away. I keep thinking she is alive but remember she is not. I keep wanting to reach out and call her to tell her how sad I am and that I don’t know what to do but I can’t. I know this is bitter sweet that she passed away as bad as that sounds but my mom went through SO much up until today when she passed. The bitter part is I will not see her anymore or talk to her. The sweet part is she’s in heaven and not suffering. I miss my mom. Today I played all her voicemails. My heart is beating so fast right now because I cannot accept this.

Does grieving take long, I don’t want to deal with it? I just want to go bed and not wake up. I don’t even want to go to her funeral because than it will be to real for me. I don’t know what to do. I feel so alone without her, she wa my best friend.