What do you do?

My mom passed away unexpectedly today and I don’t know what I am supposed to do. My emotions come in waves. I never thought I would be alive to see the day she passed away. I keep thinking she is alive but remember she is not. I keep wanting to reach out and call her to tell her how sad I am and that I don’t know what to do but I can’t. I know this is bitter sweet that she passed away as bad as that sounds but my mom went through SO much up until today when she passed. The bitter part is I will not see her anymore or talk to her. The sweet part is she’s in heaven and not suffering. I miss my mom. Today I played all her voicemails. My heart is beating so fast right now because I cannot accept this.

Does grieving take long, I don’t want to deal with it? I just want to go bed and not wake up. I don’t even want to go to her funeral because than it will be to real for me. I don’t know what to do. I feel so alone without her, she wa my best friend.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

SW-User

aw, i'm so sorry for your heart break🫂 and you're in shock right now, you poor dear. i do know how it feels. it's normal... and brutal. i was in shock for about 24 hrs when my father died in 2019, then i cried for 18 hours straight and had to be medicated to sleep. then i cried for 4 days straight whenever i wasn't sleeping. i cried while i showered, while i ate, and i had to have a diagnostic test done on the 3rd day and wept through it and didn't even care what people thought. they were kind and gentle and didn't ask what was wrong. after the fourth day, i cried on and off for a few more weeks. the whole first year was hard. each year after got easier, and i was finding joy in remembering more and more. four years on, i can still get teary at certain times of the year. mostly, i just love my dad and you will go on to love your mother the rest of your life, enjoying her memory, feeling that she is living through you in many ways... eventually. be kind to yourself in the coming days, and i hope you will receive all the love and support you will need to get through the hardest part of your grief.