Is it still a happy birthday if I'm not happy on my birthday?
Hi! I just want to take out a heavy feeling in my chest.
It's my birthday today. And here I am, crying. Yeah, even crying while typing this. Silly and you might say it's not a big deal but it is for me. Because I can't even give myself a gift. Been wanting to buy a tablet with my own money and hoping I might get to buy one today as a gift. Like it's a prize for myself for studying hard and doing all my best to survive college and my course. Been my wanting to buy since last year, before the first semester ended. But yeah, it's now second semester and I'm still short of money.
I'm not really materialistic. But sometimes it hits so hard that even for once, you can't please or spoiled yourself because you're not like any other people who can spend money effortlessly.
It's just sad that I can't even buy myself a gift. And maybe I'm just getting too emotional today. Maybe I'll just sleep it off and wish that the day will past by and soon my birthday is done. Or might review for the quiz tomorrow hahaha
Btw, it's also not just about the tablet. Thoughts are just flooding in my head right now that it makes me so emotional. Different scenarios, unwanted thoughts and such. I just needed to write it down so I won't break down. I'm sorry if this post might be just a waste of time for you to read. But I just wanna bent this heavy feeling on my chest.
I'm happy tho that I still get a chance to celebrate my birthday again. Here's to my 22nd year in Earth! Happy birthday to me! And to all those who have birthday today too!
It's my birthday today. And here I am, crying. Yeah, even crying while typing this. Silly and you might say it's not a big deal but it is for me. Because I can't even give myself a gift. Been wanting to buy a tablet with my own money and hoping I might get to buy one today as a gift. Like it's a prize for myself for studying hard and doing all my best to survive college and my course. Been my wanting to buy since last year, before the first semester ended. But yeah, it's now second semester and I'm still short of money.
I'm not really materialistic. But sometimes it hits so hard that even for once, you can't please or spoiled yourself because you're not like any other people who can spend money effortlessly.
It's just sad that I can't even buy myself a gift. And maybe I'm just getting too emotional today. Maybe I'll just sleep it off and wish that the day will past by and soon my birthday is done. Or might review for the quiz tomorrow hahaha
Btw, it's also not just about the tablet. Thoughts are just flooding in my head right now that it makes me so emotional. Different scenarios, unwanted thoughts and such. I just needed to write it down so I won't break down. I'm sorry if this post might be just a waste of time for you to read. But I just wanna bent this heavy feeling on my chest.
I'm happy tho that I still get a chance to celebrate my birthday again. Here's to my 22nd year in Earth! Happy birthday to me! And to all those who have birthday today too!
