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I am feeling disheartend

I have not won or placed in an pageant yet. I love competeing even though I do not win or place. It is just getting an bit too much because it is constant. I always smile and clap for all the winners. I spent over 1K on proffesional pageant coaching. I know my time will come and I will win really big. I always have fun even though I do not win or place. It is still really hard not to feel disheartened
just analyze your weaknesses and make a decision whether you can improve them. if you cannot, you may want to rethink this. if you can improve upon them, then you have a short term plan. good luck! you seem marvelous and intelligent no matter what you choose to do.
Holliwood · F
@BiasForAction I will know once I get judges feedback. I can send it to my pageant coach to help me succeed. I have seen girls in wheelchairs win contracted national titles , that gives me hope I can win an big title too , knowing loosing is not all defined by my ability or walk , it may not be my time to win yet. I am not physically disabled unless you count back problems as one but it never effects my pageant walk luckily , some days I have to do strengthing just to be able to straighten to walk but luckily , this is never an issue on stage. I think my issue is I get nervous on stage causing me to mess up or It could be because I have not had any rest from pageants or pageant related activites causing me to be burnt out so maybe I need an rest. In highschool I studied daily , all day , all night , all dinner and all at home , I did not pass my finals. I re did some in college , I had an year before I decided I did not want to be at that college for personal reasons , I passed everything at college. My english exam , I did not study much or over work myself , I did listen in class but I did not study outside of class. I passed. I think sometimes I just need to take an step back. I passed my other exams too but I did not get the grade I really wanted because I pushed myself to the point I needed to go to therapy , If I ever get to study law at college , my dream job , I promise myself not to work myself to this point , It does not help you succeed , it can do the opposite if you do not rest or take care of your physical and mental health. Thank you 🌸 I think I found the reason

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