What is harder, living for yourself or living for someone else?

So true. It just happens that people turn selfish as they live more and more for themselves with regard to their own life and lifestyle. Yet there are others who seem to sacrifice everything for others and down the path forget the whole purpose of their life. Striking the right balance between is the i guess, as you've mentioned. Thank you for your reply.

@RickStanley: I'm thinking of two different men at the moment, my ex who wanted to be married and have children but once he did he made choices that were for himself living in the moment and no consideration for family...it came back to bite him in the butt because even with my job I couldn't pay for everything that needed to be paid (basics) and he was always short on money when his new truck's insurance need to be paid, clothes to be bought, the propane tank needed filling. And someone else who has paid his way in life and helped his family after his father died, his extended family, his child's life (and she was self-centered leaving 2 children to be supported), his grandchildren and even friends. Which one do you think is actually the happiest now that they are entering retirement age? The one who lived for himself or the one who helped others all of his life?

I'm so sorry my friend. Sometimes or most of the times people don't live up to their words, they bail out right when the storm's coming whereas they preach on how to face the storm. My own dad never cared for me and my mom and my brothers but loved his own brothers and his mother more. He'd spend money like water for his brothers and sisters but wouldn't give me a penny if i needed money. I understand your pain and i know how hard it is coz my mom sacrificed her life to raise us.

@RickStanley: My father lived for himself, he had money to live on and he didn't want to take care of his own children (the VA sent us a survivor's check each month)...he took off for Alaska and let his sister & husband raise us and came back after we were grown. He ended up dying without family around him. He wanted to be foot-loose and fancy-free but for many who are like that there is a price to pay.

But more than that i guess i understood what i missed and i know what mom always longed for. Honestly, i'd strive to give all that I missed and a lot more to my wife and kids, By the way I'm still single but I do have an idea of how i'd have to be loving and affectionate to my family.

@RickStanley: just have to be careful about who you marry and make sure they aren't a user

I guess then we come back to the same point. Do i live for myself or for my kids if she's out? But i definitely would live for my kids and my wife even though she might be a user . Love doesn't judge at the end of the day.