What have you put off that you really want to do THIS YEAR?

My dad died this year after only a few weeks with aggressive cancer. It was sudden and heartbreaking. I thought, any of us could get a disease and pass , when we thought we had forever. I've put off SOOOO much in life out of fear I'm not enough. How do I know how long I have on earth?? I have one life only. I want to actually date and feel worthy of it EVEN though I have crippling PTSD. And I want to take a big trip. And I want to possibly live alone so that only I am in charge of my life...what do you want?