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My hot take on Doms

I think men aren’t actually that capable of being actual Doms. Simply by the fact that they aren’t ever going to be a mom. A mother is what a true Dom is, without the sexual gratification tied into it.

Most viewpoints are focused on the sexual aspects of sub/Dom relationships, completely ignoring the entire foundation of the long, real laborious caretaking role the Dom actually is supposed to undertake with their sub. And that is what a mother naturally does.

She thinks of others first, leads. Is both fierce, stern, and gentle. She guides her babies exactly where they need to go. They take care of someone else without taking anything in return, and that’s what a Dom is supposed to do. She is automatically tapped into her masculine energy through her mothering instincts.

Yes this could be argued with several different reasons, one being that there are terrible moms out there. That’s because they aren’t healed, and unfortunately we can’t stop an emotionally unhealed person from having children.

Now there are emotionally intelligent men, yes. But that’s if they do the work and their healing. If they aren’t afraid of their feminine energy and masculine energy combining, then they can attempt to be a true Dom.
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caccoon · 36-40
Yes, the bdsm scene is rife with men that aren't emotionally intelligent but simply want to exercise control

As someone who, in my 20s and most of my 30s had very low self worth, I was attracted to these broken men as I didn't think I deserved better.

Now that I have grown and been through a lot of therapy (and still processing), I am not attracted to these men.

I like a confident man that cares and can be sexually dominant but I am not interested in being submissive anymore
Yes. The more I heal the less interested I am in what a lot of men think they offer.

Also, decentering men has helped me learn a lot. About myself, about men, about relationships. @caccoon
caccoon · 36-40
@deathfairy I love this for us 🥰💙