do you have times where you feel angry & frustrated with people

what do you do in those times?

i know i get times like that, where i make the mistake of expecting too much from people and ultimately end up feeling ' let down' , like times when people don't be how you want them to be, or don't behave like you want them to behave or don't say or reply in the way you want them to?.....or, people don't do what you want them to do.

and admittedly in those times i have felt annoyed and frustrated.

i also am aware people aren't perfect, neither am i, so i understand...in my case, i have had quite a difficult life coping with psychological problems, i spent a lot of time in my adulthood alone, by myself...never found relationships with women, which is what i wanted...and never got my needs met......i did have quite a few sex encounters with girls, but never found a steady relationship with one.....so i missed out and never got my needs met.

and now, im in my late 40s and i struggle with feelings of neediness and clingyness with women, which i try hard to curb, i know this is because i never got my needs met in my earlier life........so at times when a woman interacts with me online, i have a tendency to act ' needy' , eager and clingy....and when a woman doesn't react or respond the way i want......or she backs off or 'ghosts' me, part of me understands why, because i was probably being a bit too needy, clingy or eager, but part of me feels 'let down' and i feel frustrated and a little annoyed.

this is probably a bit all over the place, but can anyone understand where i'm coming from and know what the answer is? as i'm always wanting to improve myself.

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dancingtongue · 80-89, M Best Comment

You are conflating two different issues imho.

First, when people frustrate or anger me, I try to find a mythical cave to crawl into while those feelings subside and I can deal with it in a rational way rather than lashing out. And dealing with it also includes considering how I could have handled things better in the first place.

Second, I used to have similar problems with girls and women. Was bedridden during puberty so learned no socialization skills with peers. For a long time when I was attracted to a female, I went overboard -- not so much in the clingy, needy way, but putting her on a pedestal, writing her poems, concocting outlandish schemes to impress her, only to see her flee. I assumed that the attention, the worship, was what they they sought and was frustrated that they inevitably were drawn more to the supposed "bad boys" who were inattentive. Until I realized the problem wasn't them, it was me and my suffocating ways. I toned down my displays of affection and problem solved.

durinsBane1983 · 46-50, M

@dancingtongue i think that's sort of similar to my experience, although i see things are slightly different in your case...still i find it frustrating, as i also- because of my problems didn't learn the social skills, so it's harder for me to find the connections i desire.

dancingtongue · 80-89, M

@durinsBane1983 Never too late to learn social skills -- I'm still working on some myself. Afraid I will never be an extrovert or very good at small talk, and that is after a 40 year career in PR. But improvement begins with recognizing the problem is yours to resolve so no need to get angry or frustrated with the others, and that communication begins with truly listening, not with speaking. Thanks for Best Comment.