@IUsedToBeHere my eating disorder comes from years of abuse from my mother. She would withhold food from me when ever I had a tic or outburst. She wouldn't give me the food back until I didn't have one for a while. It's grown to now if I eat something and have a tic I stop eating, and I won't eat again until I got 10 minutes without a tic.

@Cigarguy That's awful, seems like an aspect of OCD to be honest as I have weird habits like that.. like you've been conditioned to do that and it has merged with OCD. Not your fault though.

Open up as much as you want, I really just want to learn. In return I can answer questions and give advice if wanted (though it doesn't mean much.)

@IUsedToBeHere I'm an open book and I post here alot if you want to learn more go though my post. I don't hold much back

@SlippingAway I feel like it is a common thing to want to have that freedom over self that is actually very uncommon to have in this World. How do you wish you were better? What's wrong with your feelings? And why do you think you are not worthy of love?

I find it interesting because I've been there.

@IUsedToBeHere I could write a novel on why I think I am unworthy of love, and I don't know how much of it real or just the way I feel. I don't really think I can break it down the right way. I just know that I am not the best me I could be.

@SlippingAway Mistakes are natural and the human mind isn't linear. We can believe one thing one day, and something different the next.. doesn't mean the experience isn't real.

You can ask me questions if you want, and I'll show you what a mess of an answer is.

@CrazyMusicLover Fair enough. Do you have negative memories associated with these sound though? It might be anxiety or PTSD associated with those particular sounds.

@IUsedToBeHere No, not really. I have no explanation why those sounds. Many people hate sounds made with mouth, like loud chewing, crunching, slurping etc. I can tolerate those to some degree but it's also situational. At the kitchen table, I might not even notice but if someone came to eat to me while I focus on work or read a book in a quiet room, I'd be really annoyed. However, I know that those people who are triggered hard with these can't stand it anywhere and overreact right away.

@CrazyMusicLover ADHD. I have that.. When you are trying to concentrate which is difficult at times and disruption is assigned to any kind of noise or distractions. At the time it feels like that information is crucial and it can trigger an "unholy" anger.

@Medoesnotcare I mean, I feel like this will help.. it might not. I made this post to understand others hurt and inner doubts. I want to understand as I suffered once before to the point life was unbearable, but I'm okay and have been for years. Curiosity, I'm not begging for people to share but I appreciate it when they do. I just want to understand.

@IUsedToBeHere I’m unsure of what you’re asking here ?

@Medoesnotcare Why do you hate yourself? What would you change? You don't have to list it or put the worst things, just what comes to mind.

@pride49 Why? I remember your fake Positivity employment post..

@IUsedToBeHere i dont remember that. Everything is just muted I guess. Brain in the fog of war I'm on autopilot now.

@pride49 You were pissed off because of layoffs, yet they were telling you to remain positive. I told you to learn the basics of a trade.

Anyway, let me know your troubles more in depth.