living in fear of a loved one departing and leaving you

i know i've asked variants of this before, but it's something which really terrifies me....i fear deeply my elderly mother who i'm very close to and highly dependent on, i fear her departing this life and leaving me on my own in such a terrifying world?

i live alone, as i have done for 20 years in a little apartment , i have no support system apart from mainly my mum, and dad, but mainly my wonderful mum, i also live with difficult mental problems......i love my mother dearly and don't want my mum to leave me?....my mother lives far from me now, about 1 hours drive...and i see my mum now mainly at xmas time.......my mum phones me four times a day......which i'm so appreciative of and i always tell her how much i love her.....my mums doing good for her age.

can anyone help?

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Roadsterrider · 56-60, M

If your mother is in pretty good health, why worry about it. I lived most of my adult life hundreds of miles from home. If she calls 4 times a day, talk to her and don't worry about what "Might" happen. My own mother passed at 90 years old. She was worried about dying from about 60 to about 80 years of age, she quit worrying about it and had a better quality of life. You needn't worry about the things you can't control, or about what might happen in the future. Plan for what will eventually come, retirement, a bigger apartment, a new car. Leave the "what ifs" out of the brain space.

I was talking about things I worry about to an older friend. He said "Worry is interest you pay on a debt that may never come due." I try to heed his advice.