Wanted.

It's misery either way, but at least one form of it tells you that you have potential.

@Conscience: true, for what it's worth, you [i]do[/i] have amazing potential. When you get old like me, you'll look back at your life, and hopefully see it as a series of experiences that molded you into the awesome person you are.

@ZenLioness: I can see all of that happening besides the potential. I don't have any reason to believe that.

@Conscience: not yet, but you have many years to figure it out. I believe in you. I know it's tough, but I also know you can do it.

@ZenLioness: I hate the idea of thinking I have many years to live the way I do. I can do it, but it doesn't seem worth it.

@Conscience: it is worth it. I was a [b]mess[/b] in my 20s. Didn't know what direction was up. I think, in most cases, that's typical. The fact that you don't want to live this way is motivation in itself to inspire change. Just do one thing at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself. It's hard, but you have a brilliant mind, and you think on your feet. Hang in there sweetheart. You know where I am, if you need to talk. 🤗

@ZenLioness: What change could I make though? You can't force people to love you Lioness. That's always their choice. I don't even care if I had everything in the world. It doesn't mean anything if no one loves me. I suppose I'm supposed to try and improve myself. I've already done that. Now what?