I am going to try harder. I promise.

Wallowing in your own misery is selfish, regardless of the intensity of the suffering or if your time on earth is nearing an end. Maybe even more so in that case. I must keep reminding myself of this. If I am still here, there is more to do.

5 years ago I made choices and took on responsibilities that means I cannot take the easy way out. No matter how bad it gets.

It’s not about me.

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ostfuidctyvm

I think it's important that you have down time, where it really is just about you. You need the time to acknowledge your suffering and to take a breath. You just need to try and limit it as best you can. It wouldn't necessarily hurt to have a you day once in a while, just to reboot.