Why am I having mixed and confused feelings?

There was a time when I was married and was in a very dark place. My ex husband was abusive and my marriage was hell. My brother was my biggest supporter. He was there for me through all of it. I got divorced and haven’t dated anyone since.

Now, the more I search for love, the more I long for a man touch, the more I want to be with a man, the more my brother comes to my mind. If I tell myself that I don’t have intimate feelings for my brother, I would be lying. If I tell myself that I’m not sexually attractive to my brother, I’m not being truthful.

But why am I getting these mixed and confused feelings? Like I know being with my brother is wrong, but it feels so right.

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Sojournersoul · M

I have never once thought of my sister like that.

swirlie · 31-35

@Sojournersoul
I don't have a brother to compare your story to, but as your biological sister, were you ever really aware that she was a female, or was that understanding just taken for granted to the point where you never really noticed that she was a female? Not really sure how else to ask that question.

Sojournersoul · M

@swirlie I knew she was a girl but a girl who was my sister, I treated her just like I did my brother.

swirlie · 31-35

@Sojournersoul
Okay, good answer. When your sister started dating guys, did you ever wonder why anyone would be interested in her in the first place? Like, did you ever wonder what they could see in her that you couldn't see yourself?

Sojournersoul · M

@swirlie To be honest, i never gave her dating life a thought. She was just a sibling and i could have cared less what she was doing.

swirlie · 31-35

@Sojournersoul
Okay, interesting take on my question but totally honest.

Sojournersoul · M

@swirlie Just as long as he was nice to her.

swirlie · 31-35

@Sojournersoul
Yep, big brother standing by, just in case!

Sojournersoul · M

@swirlie Yep. That was my only thought. Lol