I have this recurring thought…

@YoMomma I’ve always hated myself. Not even sure why but it doesn’t really matter. I feel stuck on self destruct. I feel anxious when I don’t have enough of my pain medication to make sure that I have a fatal overdose. I have been thinking about getting rid of myself more and more lately. I just don’t see the point in living anymore. I know that the only thing keeping me alive for the last 10 years was my family but I feel like I’m a disappointment either way. I guess I could arrange some sort of fatal accident but I just don’t seem to have the patience or the energy.

@RunTheJulz i hope you feel better/different somehow find happiness.. what kind of pain do you have and why?

@YoMomma I have chronic pain syndrome from a series of lower back injuries/surgeries and it extends into my lower legs and feet. And I have knee pain from injuries to my ACL’s and meniscus’ that I have yet to get surgeries on.

@RunTheJulz oh yikes.. my hub just has back pain.. just the knee stuff itself is painful tho i had a friend that had that from working out.. she was fit like you, abs in all 😳

@YoMomma I have a titanium fusion in my lower back and I have a very large knee brace for my right knee that I have to wear for most activities. I don’t mind getting injured but I absolutely hate the stuff that never heals.