There's no reason to read this

My mental health is getting worse again. The intrusive thoughts are starting to win little by little and the suicidal thoughts are getting a little tiny bit stronger and more difficult to contain each day. I wonder what I'm holding on for when most people I call 'friends' don't seem interested in knowing me and my life is never going to get better because there is no cure for this beyond death. I can't be loved or wanted because I'm ugly and depressed. I have no future. I'll be gone and forgotten soon enough anyway, so best just to accept I'll live and die alone now and stop being a burden on everyone else.