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Why people stop talking to you

And how to fix it!

This may raise some hate, but honestly, this has been the biggest reason I have found as to why I stop talking to someone online.

Example 1:

Them: Hi

Me: Hi

Them: How are you?

Me: Good. And you?

Them: same.

Time passes

Them: What do you do for work

Me: *gives them a semi detailed explanation of my job* and you?

Them: I work [insert 1 - 2 word job description]

And the conversation just continues for however long till I get bored with these uninteresting one sentence answers.

There's no point in continuing. It's like pulling teeth. The other person has zero interest in actually holding a conversation. They are just filling time in hopes of...I honestly don't know. There will be no connection with me when the conversation can replace a reading primer.

"See Jane run."
"Run, Jane, run!"

*snore*

Be excited about your life! It's yours! You want people to like you! You want people to talk to you! Ask deeper questions that require more than just a few word sentence!

"But my life is boring"

Then don't be surprised when no one wants to talk to you. Why do they want to be equally bored with your life? Why do you want them to be bored with your life?

There must be a reason you do the work you do. There must be a reason you like the things you do. There must be a reason you enjoy certain hobbies. Talk about that! Let the person you are talking to understand and maybe feel why you do what you do!

I believe people have 5 things in their lives that they can wax poetic about. 5 things that they know like the back of their hand. There is nothing wrong with talking about those. They are important to you and actually let people know you as a person! If the other person knows about it, they can join in! If they don't, they can ask questions to find out more! And your passion makes them want to know.

So please, stop with the bland small talk. It's boring and is more than likely going to make your messages end when the other person gives up trying to find out why they should even care about responding.

Be amazing! It's your life! Share it with a passion!
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DeletedAccount25 · 31-35, M
@SomeMichGuy thank you for putting into words what I was struggling to. 🙏🏻
FoxyQueen · 51-55, FNew
@SomeMichGuy Very true, but then you know there won't be a connection and can just move on.

I totally get getting tired of saying the same thing over and over again, but that is the unfortunate deal.of meeting new people. They don't know you and you don't know them so there is going to be a lot of repetition until you decide you have either met your circle of friends or you decide to stop messaging new people. They can't psychically know you.
@FoxyQueen Indeed! lol
FreddieUK · 70-79, M
Repeated one or two word replies in a message exchange is clear indication to me that the other party has either found someone more interesting to speak to or has quickly realised that I'm not the one they really want to speak to at all. It is excruciating when you are doing more work than them for no reward. I usually just stop replying and if there's no further response from them that's fine, but if they persist in two or three word 'prods' looking for a response I politely explain that I need more from a conversation. Then I finish.
Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F
I don't really care if people like me.
Some do,some don't.
I concentrate on those who do.
I'm shy and not going to jump through mental hoops to get someone to like me.
FoxyQueen · 51-55, FNew
@Justmeraeagain Fair enough! :)
NoxAeterna · 41-45, M
Makes sense to me. When it comes to a chat we should want given back what is being put in. It’s okay to just not click with a person.
Kiesel · 56-60, M
Well, I’m not the best conversation starter
Takes me a bit to warm up…
So at first, I’m kinda like your example..
If the chance has been given, I’ll sense being comfortable thus will converse deeper than small talk
FoxyQueen · 51-55, FNew
@Kiesel I think that is fair. My issue is when it is over days and when you see their message pop up with a new one you sigh and roll your eyes.
Kiesel · 56-60, M
@FoxyQueen yeah… I do actually get a few of those
DViper97 · 51-55, M
Have to agree with most all of this. However all too often when adding a bunch in the beginning to me is a waste of my time. Most of the time they are probably not interested anyway. Even when they are in the “online chat” forum. I like to chat to pass the time and I have noticed so many on here are not into chatting.
FoxyQueen · 51-55, FNew
@DViper97 that's sad because I like chatting. I just tend to find chat becoming just a bunch of people shuffling around inuendoes and not actually chatting.
DViper97 · 51-55, M
@FoxyQueen Yeah I get it. Sometimes it works out.
Magenta · F
Great commentary.
I'm bored after the second too personal question. One pet peeve is "how old are you"? Why tf does it matter. At least you know the intent then.
Tumbleweed · F
It's just as bad when they go on and on and on and on, neverending, every single message, with their "thing". We all have a thing but that's not the ONLY topic of conversation.
Tumbleweed · F
@FoxyQueen Girl it's exhausting. I had to ghost someone for that & I know it was rude but I couldn't take it anymore.
FoxyQueen · 51-55, FNew
@Tumbleweed gotta do what ya gotta do.
Tumbleweed · F
@FoxyQueen Gotta protect my peace!
if I read your profile ,you have something interesting, it is easy to talk to some one. if you know a little bit about them, if you have nothing ...it is Hello,,Hi, so on,
Punches · 46-50, F
I do not say or write much cause I figure people won't listen or read anyways.

The only people who seem interested online are the scammers and "romance seekers".

It is really bad on my other forum.
I can detach easy so ...
FoxyQueen · 51-55, FNew
@pripyatamusementpark same. You have to engage me to be interested. Otherwise, i just give 🦗
houseonfire · 56-60, M
Hi, how are you, what do you do for work, do you have fish, do you eat broccoli, have you ever wrapped your head in aluminum foil (not that that is a bad thing right ), ok well thats about it. have a nice day. I will wait for your reply lol
Jonjdw · 51-55, M
I guess they’re trying to find common ground. I did not read the whole thing. Are you really new here?
FoxyQueen · 51-55, FNew
@Jonjdw I'm not sure how to respond to this...
Jonjdw · 51-55, M
@FoxyQueen I don’t know it was just my own thoughts on what I read without reading the whole thing. But I do know how conversations go on here sometimes.
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in10RjFox · M
That's why they send a picture..

As a picture is worth a thousand words ..

😀

 
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