The ugh, the yeah, and the lovely
Good evening folks!!
I just need once again to think out loud. I cannot socialize today, and maybe tone that down overall for the long run, who's to say, I tend to end up doing what I said I wasn't, so it's not like my words carry much weight.
Dad is exasperating with his dwelling on my brother's economical advice, the TFSA, brother wants him to put 3,000 into it in as short a period of time as possible, but dad needs to be going to coffee places and fast food joints around 5 times a day to do his divine mission, so dad he suggested that he put 100 to the TFSA a month for 2 years, brother's response was something like "are you having trouble doing it the way we were doing it?" I wish my bro could see dad when he read that, i'm sure he'd relent and say "Sure dad, 100 a month sounds good" but dad he is getting so pitiful, it's like his whole purpose in life is being shred to pieces because brother focuses on the financial and dad he's trying none to subtly to evangelize to him.
Ugh, I had to get that out, it sketches the situation, when I hear things said, they repeat in my mind over and over and I HATE hearing what dad says over and over. Which brings me to the relief, I've decided to add Rainer Maria Rilke into the current mix, his Letters to a Young Poet and some other Letters for grief and loss stuff looks perfect!! And of course his poetry, there's a 700 some page collection which has the complete versions of his 2 most acclaimed poetic works Duino Elegies and Sonnets to Orpheus with Edward Snow doing the translation, and I also must needs have William H Gass, as it's not in Kindle format i'm gonna be receiving his debut novel Omensetter's Luck in the mail tomorrow along with my coping strategy gummies, the book will be a great physical decoy, and whoa, it's subject matter looks to be pretty good, religious and bleak, which topically aligns with living with dad, but i'm much in need of how Gass puts things.
Heidegger is great for when I need something not emotional, something downright technical, but within the highly interesting Existential school, I love that kind of thing, and if I can eventually get used to his Being and Time then I could get into other works that are like that, Hegel, Kant being the 2 usual suspects that I would really like to be able to stomach, oh what a world would be opened up!!
But the main star is William Gaddis, and I'll hopefully write a good post on him in the future, after 20 odd not so good ones.
Have a good evening and day y'all, see you around when i'm up for more exchanges which are health inducing in their own right, but a day like this I need less complexity, a seemingly banal conversation for me can so easily turn into more annoyances, and I wish to avoid anything like that, it's totally my limitations and stuntedness that is to blame, and my slow pace in working through my issues, I have to savor each moment, to make sure when its over, it stays over forever and ever.
I just need once again to think out loud. I cannot socialize today, and maybe tone that down overall for the long run, who's to say, I tend to end up doing what I said I wasn't, so it's not like my words carry much weight.
Dad is exasperating with his dwelling on my brother's economical advice, the TFSA, brother wants him to put 3,000 into it in as short a period of time as possible, but dad needs to be going to coffee places and fast food joints around 5 times a day to do his divine mission, so dad he suggested that he put 100 to the TFSA a month for 2 years, brother's response was something like "are you having trouble doing it the way we were doing it?" I wish my bro could see dad when he read that, i'm sure he'd relent and say "Sure dad, 100 a month sounds good" but dad he is getting so pitiful, it's like his whole purpose in life is being shred to pieces because brother focuses on the financial and dad he's trying none to subtly to evangelize to him.
Ugh, I had to get that out, it sketches the situation, when I hear things said, they repeat in my mind over and over and I HATE hearing what dad says over and over. Which brings me to the relief, I've decided to add Rainer Maria Rilke into the current mix, his Letters to a Young Poet and some other Letters for grief and loss stuff looks perfect!! And of course his poetry, there's a 700 some page collection which has the complete versions of his 2 most acclaimed poetic works Duino Elegies and Sonnets to Orpheus with Edward Snow doing the translation, and I also must needs have William H Gass, as it's not in Kindle format i'm gonna be receiving his debut novel Omensetter's Luck in the mail tomorrow along with my coping strategy gummies, the book will be a great physical decoy, and whoa, it's subject matter looks to be pretty good, religious and bleak, which topically aligns with living with dad, but i'm much in need of how Gass puts things.
Heidegger is great for when I need something not emotional, something downright technical, but within the highly interesting Existential school, I love that kind of thing, and if I can eventually get used to his Being and Time then I could get into other works that are like that, Hegel, Kant being the 2 usual suspects that I would really like to be able to stomach, oh what a world would be opened up!!
But the main star is William Gaddis, and I'll hopefully write a good post on him in the future, after 20 odd not so good ones.
Have a good evening and day y'all, see you around when i'm up for more exchanges which are health inducing in their own right, but a day like this I need less complexity, a seemingly banal conversation for me can so easily turn into more annoyances, and I wish to avoid anything like that, it's totally my limitations and stuntedness that is to blame, and my slow pace in working through my issues, I have to savor each moment, to make sure when its over, it stays over forever and ever.
46-50, M
