Yes.

Especially since I’m getting older, with other health issues, and have every reason to believe that things will only get worse rather than better. Is it my depression talking? Partially, but it’s also reality talking and a belief that maybe things will be better if there’s a next time around. Forty years of psychiatrists (with their various “see if anything sticks” medications) and psychologists/therapists/social workers, watching others have lives that escaped my grasp. I’m just effing tired of the fight.

And now I’m even that horrible person who sees the newest generation getting all I missed out on and while of course I want the very best for them, I have to limit my contact because their happiness scorches me like the sun, triggering shame and regret and jealousy that guts me to my core.

An ugly truth but there you have it. Don’t even know if I’ll leave this reply up. While it’s cathartic, it’s also deeply personal and embarrassing.

I will not go against God's creation of me or you or anyone else.


Sure I may have thoughts passing by. Which is it. I have to be patient in faith to live. We all live is important.

I have felt that way at times, at times the feeling dragged on persistently, but it doesn't last. A little mix of resignation and fight and believing in myself.

There have been times I would have begged for it. But right now I care too much about my family and friends.

No. I will not force anything.

At times.

There are times that it would definitely be a dangerous choice to give me.

When everything is lost, there is still Hope. Never give up.

I never wanted to end. I wanted an end to feeling the way I did.

Nope I like living

Yes

100%

yes😾

I’m scared of death