For people with mental illness. If you could choose to just get a shot and go to sleep forever would you do it?

Yes.

Especially since I’m getting older, with other health issues, and have every reason to believe that things will only get worse rather than better. Is it my depression talking? Partially, but it’s also reality talking and a belief that maybe things will be better if there’s a next time around. Forty years of psychiatrists (with their various “see if anything sticks” medications) and psychologists/therapists/social workers, watching others have lives that escaped my grasp. I’m just effing tired of the fight.

And now I’m even that horrible person who sees the newest generation getting all I missed out on and while of course I want the very best for them, I have to limit my contact because their happiness scorches me like the sun, triggering shame and regret and jealousy that guts me to my core.

An ugly truth but there you have it. Don’t even know if I’ll leave this reply up. While it’s cathartic, it’s also deeply personal and embarrassing.