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What would you tell your 16 year old self?

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Therealsteve · 31-35, M
Many of the attitudes and restrictions that your parents pushed on you that made you feel frustrated and upset. Things that didn't seem normal and they enforced through shame and fear and gave you rubbish about how you'd "understand when you are older"? And then how they just chucked you out and abandoned you at 18, unable to afford to do anything, barely scraping by on welfare?

By 32, you'll have a lot of experience in childcare and education. You'll be certified in topics from mental health to childhood development, to domestic abuse. You'll have been in relationship with ladies and see more functional families that support their children past eighteen. You'll learn that a lot of what they did was so distressing because it was literally abuse.

You'll learn that so much of what they did had a horrible impact on yours and your brothers development. You'll learn that your autistic brother's behaviour got so bad because your dad went so far taking the easy route of projecting what he did on to you instead of teaching him to self-regulate, and from that you'll learn of all the other issues he and your mother had that he projected on to you. You'll learn that that "autism" diagnosis you discovered at 18 was just him further projecting your brother's behaviour onto you to the sick point of pretending that you have his diagnosis and to make you feel there was something wrong for not being an insecure, disinterested twat and really getting into your hobbies.

That at around 27 you'll go and see the county's head of social development disorders who will tell you both after just one conversation that you don't have autism whatsoever, and the clinician you saw as a child who your dad claimed "she said you have it, and that's coming from an expert, and not me" you'll be shown actually sent a letter to him, when you were a child, stating you don't have it as it was him pushing for it to justify his own sick mentally ill mindset. Meaning he pushed and pushed for something he knew you didn't have, when you already had physical difficulties. And that your dad will then put that sick approach on full display and try to manipulate the psychiatrist into a confrontation that would satiate his eternal victim complex by responding "I'm sorry but I'm his dad and I think it does", right after the psychiatrist tells him "he doesn't have it and it would be beneficial to his mental health to have the false diagnosis removed immediately". No care for reality or the impact it was having on my mental health.

You'll see at 30, when briefly living with them again, how dysfunctional the family still is to learn that he really was just projecting all the negativity of the family onto you and then chucking you away to symbolically get rid of that negativity like some disordered person.

That it had nothing to do with you. That these groups that now help you and have love for you aren't "freemasonic", or "satanic". That the closest thing to "satanic" in my life, after having studied theology as an adult, was him. That your dad never planned on paying for your medical treatment, that was just a sick joke. I could go on with them, but I'll stop. Having a supportive, loving family and in particular a strong father figure is so important.

That even the highest or lowest of society won't be bothered by your physical condition.