Your thoughts?
My partner has told her debt ridden mother that I won’t mind lending her £2500 because I’m good with my money. Am I in the wrong here or is that completely fucked up?
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Casheyane · 31-35, F
Is it worth it? Keeping her, I mean?
It's no business of mine what you value. But that's my take.
It's always nice if someone is willing to help. We aren't in her shoes and we don't know how desperate the situation is or why is she in need.
To give or not to give is up to the giver. It just gets fuzzy when emotions are put into account. Conscience, sense of responsibility, things like that.
In the end, you're the only one who can decide what consequences you're willing to shoulder. If you can choose one that will give you least regret, the why not pick that choice?
It's no business of mine what you value. But that's my take.
It's always nice if someone is willing to help. We aren't in her shoes and we don't know how desperate the situation is or why is she in need.
To give or not to give is up to the giver. It just gets fuzzy when emotions are put into account. Conscience, sense of responsibility, things like that.
In the end, you're the only one who can decide what consequences you're willing to shoulder. If you can choose one that will give you least regret, the why not pick that choice?
DHggmu · 31-35, M
@Casheyane I know her situation, the money is for a vet bill, and her debt is because for over 10 years she’s been too scared to tell her husband that she’s run them into debt and she can’t get out of it. He’s none the wiser, it’s not really my business, but I’m not about to make it mine by involving myself, people would be much better off if they were just honest.
4meAndyou · F
Your PARTNER is not your wife, and has no claim on ANY of YOUR money. MOST particularly, she has absolutely NO right to tell a person mired in bad debt which she has not repaid, that YOU will lend her money. Because just like her other debtors, YOU will not be repaid.
She was quite wrong to mislead her own mother. She was quite wrong to promise money that was NOT hers.
Obviously the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree. You might want to give some serious thought to a trial separation.
She was quite wrong to mislead her own mother. She was quite wrong to promise money that was NOT hers.
Obviously the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree. You might want to give some serious thought to a trial separation.
eMortal · M
If it is not too much for you, give her the money to burn that bridge because you know she won't pay back any time soon. If she ever ask again, you'll use this incident to deny the request. Your image and your relationship remain intact. Also if your wife ever brings up something like that again you'll cite this incident. 🤷♂
Certainly seems quite presumptuous of her. Especially since I’d imagine that part of the reason you have money is because you don’t loan it out to debt ridden people who aren’t likely to pay you back.
DHggmu · 31-35, M
@OlderSometimesWiser Exactly, I just think that is a messed up position to put me in, it feels like a lose lose situation.
@DHggmu Yep, you’re between the proverbial rock and a hard place. I’m honestly not sure what I would do.
IamBack · 31-35, M
I mean without checking with you first, that seems quite ridiculous, but again with relationships, there’s no black and white but I think common sense would’ve dictated for your partner to check with you first 🤷🏻♂
come2gether · 46-50, M
Why is she trying to lean on you to give her mother money? 😏
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Mesthartiya · M
@DHggmu Good. Your gf has put you in a very difficult position, and I think yours is the correct decision under the circumstances.
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