late night ramblings lol

my so called family house scares me i cant talk inside of it to anyone ..i think i have a kind of phobia of talking to ppl but when iam in it it gets worse ..omg this is terrible and horrible being me ..talking to no one ..sometimes im not even able to do that..cuz of being sick sometimes i cant even open my mouth and jaw its like im crippled i just realised that im living a nightmare that swings between pauses rest and real senseless shit and nonsense ..now im better i think but im scared of later ..