Anyone else get pushed into doing what others want for your birthday?

Then they get mad you say no and put a guilt trip on you? And say things like, “Now my head hurts.” And they wonder why I don’t look forward to birthdays.

Do you experience similar?

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

Shadyglow · F

uhhh.no.

My button gets pushed every time some sold- out store clerk is forced to say HAVE A GOOD "ONE". when they don't know what THEY mean and YOU don't know what they mean but you are supposed to think its maybe Christmas and they just want u to have a good "ONE"

Except its not Christmas OR your birthday but you are supposed to pretend that its all ok to be jerked around verbally like this, JUST TO SEEM POLITE.

Will boycott any store that still does this next time I'm in there, and instead make everything myself, food, band-aids and beer too. Whatever they sell I can't use, especially this idiotic PHONY and INSULTING stab at what they think of as "intimacy".

I don't think anyone here understands this. I wrote about same thing in another post and got crickets.

same as usual.

Rejoice that anyone even knows you are alive and be grateful... if someone came on my birthday I would then do what WE wanted or they would leave and enjoy their nice day. Everyone here acts so POWERLESS. Maybe its just to feel admirable.

and "Have a nice DAY" would be a very welcome wish for me. Any old time. Even on my birthday.

MellyMel22 · F

@Shadyglow Powerless? Not at all. I was just venting. I don’t need any kind of social media to feel admired.

I wouldn’t expect anyone to do what I wanted on their birthday and expect the same respect. Some people don’t like to celebrate or go places others do.

Shadyglow · F

@MellyMel22 if were you I could say thank for honoring me, wanna hang out? And then maybe figure out something or not.
Loneliness can hone down life to the essentials. Someone is trying to at least acknowledge you EXIST. So they have mixed motives. JUST SAY NO ..... " no thank you" maybe

so just work with it, ok?
ty

and please never tell someone to have a good one. No one thinks that **** is sincere.

MellyMel22 · F

@Shadyglow I didn’t have problem seeing them, in fact they come here every year and eat. It’s more so they try to make a bigger thing when they know I don’t feel comfortable with it. I said no thank you, but with this person it’s always argued about.

Shadyglow · F

@MellyMel22 I have absolutely NO ONE in my life. Its so hard to relate to this stuff. No one comes near me I'm so loathsome.
But If they did they wouldn't be sorry and neither would I. For sure. I would know what to do.

and they absolutely would NOT "use" me. That would have involved my PERMISSION.

MellyMel22 · F

@Shadyglow I’m very sorry to hear that. I can understand why you can’t relate, but wish you had others around. I hope being here you can at least find some friends to help not feel as alone 🤍 I’m here if you ever wanna talk.

Shadyglow · F

@MellyMel22 I have only one and I started this ordeal in 2006 (EP)

This one is from last year. All this time before.....nothing.

I cant talk about this. Anyway I hope you understand the difference between people feeling like they MUST be part of someone else's life (never really true)

and doing it cause its a PRIVILEGE and sacred trust.

And please have a great birthday every year, ya hear?

MellyMel22 · F

@Shadyglow Thank you. I hope yours can be better 🤍

Shadyglow · F

@MellyMel22 At my age I really dont want any more....and only quietly acknowledge them when they come.

I love LIFE.

Shadyglow · F

@MellyMel22 I now have a friend from my home state, was a long time in coming and its the real thing. I feel REAL now.

MellyMel22 · F

@Shadyglow That’s great that you found that friend. I hope it continues to go as well as it has!